Don't worry, I'm not going to publicly shame you for what happened.

In fact, I don't want to embarrass you at all. That's not what this is about. This is simply my reflection of what tore our once beautiful friendship to shreds. I have wanted to say these things to you for such a long time, but never truly knew how without making it awkward. Now that it has been so many years since we held a "real" conversation, and because we now live hundreds of miles apart, I thought perhaps this letter would reach you. So... here we go.

Hey kiddo.... you always hated when I called you that.

I want to start by telling you that I'm sorry for the way things turned out. I never imagined things would be so different. How did things end up like this? We had everything planned out. We said we were going to be best friends forever. We said nothing could ever separate us. It was you and I against the world. I hope you still remember that.

I still hold on to the memories we made over our many years of friendship. I remember jumping on your trampoline at your 4th birthday party. I remember our many trips to the zoo. I remember the day you came to watch me get my hair dyed, and ended up convincing my mom to pay for you to get yours dyed too. I have all these wonderful memories of us, but I'm not sure you can say the same. Either way, that's okay, because I'm sure we can both remember this: the day you changed your mind about me. But it's alright, I don't hold that against you.

I also want you to know that I don't hate you. I never hated you. I could never hate you. I was just upset for a very long time. I'll save you the embarrassment of telling the world why, and what happened. You and I, and the few other people who know about that series of events, are the only ones who need to know the details. What's important is that you know that I don't harbor any negative feelings towards you whatsoever. I truly mean that. You have been forgiven for a long time.

You should also know that I would not mind if you came back into my life. I would actually like that a lot. The ball is in your court, though. If it is going to happen, you will have to initiate it. I wasted enough of my precious time trying to fix things years ago. I promise that if you do decide to come back into my life, I'll welcome you with open arms. We can disregard the negative, and rebuild upon the positive. It could be better than before. Regardless, I will always consider you a sibling.

Much love,

Your ex-bestfriend