We are young. We are reckless. We make mistakes. We live and we learn. But now, I am faced with a situation I never expected. You left this world far too early. You had so much to give to the world; and at 19 years old, you gave the world everything you had. But even then, I know there was so much more you had to give. When you passed, the world lost your contagious laugh, your loving smile, and a quirkiness that could never be replaced. When you passed, the whole world felt an incredible loss.
Time has a very harsh role in this world. It controls our days and it controls our lives. But, since your passing I have come to appreciate each second more and more. You have taught me to love life, and to love the other people in my life. I don’t know if you can ever truly know how much your friendship meant to me, even if we did talk less after high school. Regardless, your friendship was one that influenced me, and will continue to influence me until the end of the time.
I never had the opportunity to tell you how much your friendship truly meant to me, so I want to take a few seconds to tell you. You were the person in middle school who managed to brighten my day. You were the person who took the time to understand me and really get to know me. You did not judge, and you did not bully. You were the perfect friend. And in high school, you continued to be one of the most whole-hearted people I had ever met. You were loyal, kind, and loving. You were a true friend. And your death does not change any of those things. And, even when you were diagnosed with cancer, you were still an incredible friend. You focused on others rather than wallowing in your own self-pity. You were the epitome of strength. And, while I am sure there were times when you did in fact wallow and get frustrated, you never showed that. You were the type of person I wish I could be; and I continue to attempt to live as you did. I can only hope that in honoring your memory, I can preserve the friendship we had.
The days following your passing I fought with my feelings and I attempted to understand the situation. You were so young, so kind, and so undeserving of such a fate. And yet, somehow this all fit into some greater plan. I like to think you are now in a better place and that you are happy and free from pain. And those thoughts—just those few thoughts—make the time following your death just a tiny bit easier. I don’t know if I, or anyone for that matter, will completely come to terms with your passing. But, knowing that you are happy and free from pain reassures me that time may not be all that bad.
And, for my last words to you at this moment, I want to wish you a happy belated 20th birthday! I can only hope you know how much everyone continues to love and miss you.
