Dear me,
You know the drill. You know the usual happy birthday songs, the plethora of Facebook posts from people you haven't heard from in years, the ones who only knew it was your birthday from a notification on their phone, and of course, the usual lethargic state of getting older. But this birthday? This one feels different and you can't figure out why. Well babe, you have a long journey ahead of you.
At 13, you finally could call yourself a teenager. Waking up in the morning started to suck more than usual, the girls seemed to get meaner, and the boys all seemed to have bad intentions. We used to call this our wake up call birthday.
At 15, you fell in love for the first time. You spent the morning of your birthday in a dark hallway with a boy you never knew would mean so much to you. That morning defined the rest of your life. You had already begun to grow up too fast and this birthday did nothing but prove it. You used to regret that day, but looking back, you know it all happened for a reason.
At 16, he bought you flowers and a candle just like you asked. Along with a mug that you still keep in your cupboard but can't force yourself to use because the memories stain your fingertips each time you grab ahold of the handle. It takes days to wash them away. This birthday was supposed to change your life. You could drive, and be remotely responsible in the eyes of judgmental adults. You had to grow up. And you did, naturally.
Now you turn 17. So far, you've received a mess of shrugs and "nobody really cares about that birthday" comments. You can't help but wonder why. At 17, you're smack dab in the middle of becoming an adult, and the glamourized sweet 16. But babe, let me tell you why this birthday will mean more to you than any has before.
You have one year left. For some, that is a heartbreaking realization. For you, I know that feels like too much time. You've wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of here for years, you've counted the days, you've been holding on for dear life for too long. One year is a lot shorter than you think, so remember not to wish it away.
You have one year left. Right now, he feels light years away. You fell head over heels for a boy who will not live within a thousand miles from you until you are able to follow him. It's going to hurt, you know it will, but you know he's worth it. Do not say it's too much time. It may be just enough.
You will graduate, apply to colleges, get a job, get a debit card, and you will grow up. It's going to terrify you, but we both know this is exactly what you've always wanted. You've waited far too long for this. Don't take a second of it for granted.
Sincerely,
your 16 year old self.
