Dear 2015 Merissa,

2016 was quite a year, let me tell you. You learned a lot, you hurt a lot, and you changed in more ways than I can explain in one letter. There is nothing from your 17 years of experience on this Earth that could possibly prepare you for what came in 2016. There were the good things, like turning 18 and having the best birthday of your life, finally graduating high school, meeting a couple of professors who would change everything, forgiving and moving on, and realizing so much of your worth. Additionally, in 2016, there were the inevitable downfalls, but more than you had ever expected. You weren’t ready for them, but you handled them with grace, and for that, you came out of 2016 stronger. I know that at this moment you think that nothing can go wrong and you don’t have anything else to learn to make yourself better, but there were lessons that you could have used going into the worst year of your life.

One thing that you should know going into 2016 is that it is not going to be easy. Right about now, if I’m not mistaken, you are starting your first choice college application. Surprise – you get in, and you do end up attending school out of state. Guess what? It is absolutely everything you wanted. You haven’t met Erin on Twitter yet, but you will, and you two will hit it off immediately, you’ll become roommates, and she will become like a sister to you. In college, you’ll meet best friends who you’ll buy matching pajamas with, and you’ll go on adventures, and you will open up about things that you usually don’t, and your friends will too. You won’t meet a boy you fall in love with, not first semester at least, but it’s okay because that is not what you’re looking for right now. Your self-esteem and scholastic confidence will blossom, and you will do so well in school that it will surprise you. You’ll MEET Hillary and Bill Clinton. You’ll call Bill Clinton “Billy Boy” to his face, because in 2016 you are still the SAME girl you are right now.

The catch is that none of this is going to be easy, not even a little bit.

You will have to say goodbye to your family when they drop you off at your dorm, and that’ll be different and harder than you expected, you’ll care too much about “friends” who don’t care about you, you’ll have to deal with the political shock that comes with moving away from home, and you will lose friends back home who you thought would last forever, including your best friend (yeah, you know who I’m talking about, and you’ll lose her). You realize soon after that it’s alright, because it all happened for a reason. Let’s not forget about your dog, though. His picture is right above your desk, and you keep copies in your phone case and wallet, too. He’s doing okay though, you’ll come to realize after the second time in a month that you decide to fly home. College is going to come with shocks, surprises and so many new experiences. You’ll have to go through the Presidential Election in Nevada, away from your family, but you’ll end up going home that weekend because that was the one thing that you couldn’t handle at college.

But speaking of academics, it is not this hard forever. Fall quarter for you is ending, and I promise it is just the beginning of the scholastic hardships you’ll face your senior year. The trick is to just keep swimming. GO TO CLASS, do not skip to go to the water falls like you did in high school. It’s fun, but your GPA is forever. You’re learning that now. You’re probably just wrapping up with your body toning class, and you are going to miss all of the positivity that instructor constantly adds to your life. Don’t worry, you end up taking more of her classes spring quarter, partially because you miss it, but mostly because you need them to graduate. Guess what? You end up actually joining Track this year, and you do well - albeit the fact that - spoiler alert - you literally have a shoulder that dislocates every time you’ll throw. There, you meet friends who stick with you for the rest of high school, and who you’ll continue to talk to well into college (#BreakinRecordsBreakinHearts).

Something you should have known going into 2016 was to not trust that boy – the one your mom told you about (it always ends up being the ones your mom told you about. Spoiler alert: she’s smarter than you; also, you have bad taste in boys). Yeah, he seems intelligent, nice, ambitious, and every other adjective on your list of traits you think are perfect, but trust me, he isn’t worth any of what he put you through in 2016. I say that you should have known, because you ignored every red flag. You let him make you feel like you weren’t as smart as him (which is laughable to you now), you lost friends because of him, and for a long time after him, it was hard to trust other people. You’ll feel so deafeningly alone. And the oxymoron is that you let him do this to you at a time in your life when you were starting to finally love yourself. I wish you had known then that life, and high school, are too short to let a boy distract you from your goals, your friends, your life, and then also let him make you feel like you are nothing. Thank god that’s one experience you’ve learned from.

2016 is also the year you realize that nothing in high school ever really mattered as much as you thought it did. Here are the things you actually took from those four years:

• The times you stood up for people who needed you. Defending your culture, standing up to the high school bigots, ignorant teachers and the (mostly terrible) administration. The time you spent standing up for what you believed in, even if your “friends” thought you were uncool for doing it.
• The small moments that meant a lot. Requesting “Come on Eileen” by Dexys Midnight Runners at EVERY school dance, and doing (what you remembered) of the living room routine with Kyra. Performing Brandenburg with Kristian at Solo Ensemble and then getting out of there ASAP so you could get Bigfoot Java. When you were elected Area 5 President sophomore year and the first person who hugged you was Mia (and you both cried), and when you got the award for being “Most Inspirational” in orchestra.

You won’t even remember the reason you fought with a friend, or what grade you got on the paper you spent 3 weeks writing (which they never even looked at), who was popular, or who you sat with at lunch. If you could know anything going into 2016, I wish you would have known to not stress the trivial things, because those only make high school harder. And now that you think about it, there’s so much stuff that you thought was important in high school that you don’t even remember now.

Dear 2015 Merissa, take your time going into 2016. There is so much to see and do and experience this year, and sometimes it will be overwhelming but your best bet will be to take it a day at a time. There will be heartaches, people will test you, sometimes things will really suck and you’ll wonder if you can even do it, but the thing is, you can do it and you did. Everything turns out alright in the end, and you know that. You constantly work towards “everything will be alright.” You’ll get through 2016, and it definitely will not be easy, but it will be worth it because so far, everything in 2017 turns out so much better.

Sincerely,