For those of you out there reading this article without an understanding of life at The Citadel, The Military College of South Carolina, I would like to clarify that knobs are freshman and Recognition Day refers to the end of nine months of torture and suffering in which they have earned their place at this school. I am writing this letter specifically to my mentee knob here at The Citadel, and generally to any freshman anywhere.
Mentee,
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to watch you push yourself to a place you probably didn’t think you could go. For those parents and family members out there, it must have been insane to watch, but for the cadets like me who have been around for the past nine months, it was not that unusual. You and your classmates have been pushed and stretched for this entire year. You all already had what it takes to endure yesterday and it showed. I was proud to watch you struggle and continue even when the pain was visible. The lessons you learned will benefit you long after you graduate and leave this campus.
After you finished your class set, crawled to the guide-on and next to the O painted on the staircase, you stood up and braced for the last time. While I watched you and your classmates, I was taken back to that same moment in my life. I remember exactly where I stood, whose shoulders my arms were around, and I can still feel those tears streaming down my face just as they did yours. I briefly wondered what it would be like to go back to that moment knowing what I do now. Since I can’t do that, I want to give you a few pieces of advice to hopefully keep you from making the same mistakes I did.
I’ve missed more opportunities than I am willing to admit because I spent too much time staying in my comfort zone and avoiding the things I was afraid of. Most of the time when I got outside my comfort zone, I ended up happier and in a better place. It is way more fun to hit up the gym for a workout with a buddy and some hoops afterward than to stay in my room and be lazy. Similarly, the guy giving that talk you got an email about has a pretty interesting story and some valuable connections for you. It might be worth it to get to a few more of those.
Pay attention to chances you have to do some living off campus. Spend a semester abroad if you can, or at least a summer. There are some really cool programs through just about any department to almost anywhere you want to go. When you go, experience as much of the culture and people as you can. Do things outside your norm and visit the places the locals suggest.
While you are stuck at The Citadel, remember to experience the city of Charleston and its surrounding network. I wasted too many beach days, didn’t explore enough of the downtown establishments, and failed to find all the parks and historical sights this city has to offer. There are too many, and any wasted day will mean one less that you get to visit.
That thought brings me to my next point: don't go alone, bring your classmates. I’m pretty much an introvert, so I didn’t spend enough time with my classmates. I tended to stick to the same few friends and while I love all of them to death, there are a lot more brothers and sisters in the class of 2016 than I know. Make an effort to be friends with all of your class and to have at least one conversation with all of them. Everyone has a story and you can learn something from everybody.
When it comes to the classmates who wear the same company insignia as you, be extra vigilant on that point. I’ve come to realize that I lost a lot when I didn’t hit them up more often, and you will find that they are sincere when they ask you if you want to come out with them. Just because you are no longer knobs doesn't mean class unity should go out the window.
Remember that life here will still be tough, but you have what it takes to make it. I would give your attention to my mistakes and failures. It isn’t the most fun to spend the last half of your senior year in a new company, so always evaluate whether breaking the rules is worth it. I hope you do better than me and spend more time out having fun and less time marching tours.
Lastly, this might sound a little strange after everything I just wrote, but don’t spend time regretting the past. Not holding a certain rank, or missing out on one of those opportunities I was talking about earlier will cause you to miss the next one. When you get bummed out with the way something happens, recover as quickly as you can and keep moving forward. Grab the next chance and get to the finish, proud of what you and your classmates have done.
It has been a blast being your senior mentor this year. I apologize for living in a different battalion and being tough to see a lot. You did a fantastic job on my Thanksgiving hat and cigar. There was never a moment I was not proud to point you out as my mentee. I wish you all the best over your cadet career, and I hope you never forget that you can always call me for an answer to your questions or for help. You did well this year. Don’t lose motivation when cadet life continues to throw challenges your way. Use them as fuel to stoke the fire.
V/R
Your senior mentor
