To Someone Who Holds A Special Place In My Heart,
When I think about my childhood, I think of you. When I think of you, I think about your love, your compassion, your selflessness and your joy. Spending time with you was never something I wanted to pass up. I can remember your baking and you sneaking me candy, even though my mom said no. I remember your hugs and how your lipstick was left on my cheek every time you kissed me hello. I can remember how you smelled whenever I would snuggle up against you on the couch. I will always remember the songs we would sing and how you always did your best to make our birthdays special.
Recalling memories isn't difficult for us, nor do we really think about what our life would be like if we started to forget. It's natural for people to forget little things that happened in their lives, but our brains are still capable of remembering a large majority of those things. So now, I put myself in your shoes.
I can't imagine how you feel when you look at me and don't recognize my face or remember my name. I can't imagine what it feels like to constantly repeat yourself because you don't remember that you asked me the same question 20 seconds ago. I can't grasp the idea that you wake up each morning not knowing where you are. Just like I don't understand how you feel not knowing about a single thing going on in the world today. I don't know what it's like to not be able to describe what you're feeling or ask for something when you need it.
What do you hear when you listen to the tv or to conversations near by? How do you feel when someone has to dress you because you aren't able to anymore? Does it hurt to swallow your food and drinks? I can't begin to imagine how it feels to be exhausted every time you take a couple steps to the bathroom and back to the couch. It breaks my heart to know that when you look into the mirror you don't realize that you're looking at your own reflection.
I know that you wish this wasn't how you felt each day. I know that you don't want to be confused and tired all the time. I know you want to be able to talk and laugh with me again and snuggle up on the couch and watch Family Feud or The Golden Girls. I know you want to be able to go out to dinner and walk around outside.
I know that you never wanted, nor did you ever mean to forget me.
The memories we have created will always remain in my heart and I know they're in yours too, even if you can't remember anymore. I will continue to tell you each day who I am and how we are related. I'll always tell you that I love you, even if you don't know who you're saying it back to.
With Love Always,
Me
