I miss you. I miss you so much that it hurts; literally. I've been dealing with stomach pains, anxiety, headaches, extreme heat conditions and worse of all; rough toilet paper. My butt and my heart have taken a beating and I am sitting here counting down the days until I can come back for good. However, I know that I am here to better myself in the long run, but does it really have to take so long? I miss the city and the cell phone service, I miss my own bed and my friends, and most importantly I miss my strange family and all of their kooky quirks.

When I decided that a college not super close to home was the right choice for me, I clearly didn't think it through fully. I must have forgotten that I can only use wifi to text out here, or that the dorm rooms are usually set at a temperature of "hot as balls." It must have slipped my mind that I love the constant on the go life, and that I like shopping as well as laying in my normal height bed while watching t.v. or reading a book on my phone; that doesn't lose internet service every five minutes. However, I know that all this isolation and distance is only bringing me one step closer to my future filled with happiness and friends, as well as success.

When I packed up and left I must have forgotten that I like having a car to drive and street lights to help me see at night. It seemed to have completely passed me that I am used to the life that occurs when living in the city. I am accustomed to the constant noise and lack of fields, the ability to walk to the closest store and meet a friend for lunch. I live for the ability to meet at the mall and walk around while doing nothing other than chatting and window shopping. I liked knowing almost everyone at my school because I've spent the past 13 years with most of them. However, I know that despite my need for familiarity and my constant ache for all the friendships that have been severed due to vast amounts of distance, I am only on the verge of greatness with my whole life ahead of me.

When I headed out the door with my bags in hand, I seemed to have forgotten that I am used to fighting with my siblings for the front seat all the time. When I started to set up my new room, I must have forgot that I am used to having to say "shut my door when you leave" because I realized they won't be coming in and out of my room anymore. When I hugged my family "goodbye" I didn't seem to realize how long "hello" would take to return again. However, I know that despite how much I miss them, and how much I wish I was home, I am making them proud by being here, by trying new things and taking on the world by myself. But I know that if I did decide to go home, to start over somewhere new, change my life direction; they would continue to be proud of me, they would respect me and love me anyway; I didn't forget that much.

So even though I want to go home really bad, even though I am tired of anxiety and extreme heat, I will tough it out until at least the end of this semester, because I am trying to make something of myself, trying to create a future for myself. Even though I'm seriously really tired of the lack of cell service and the rough toilet paper; over it, so over it.