To the friends who taught me everything I know:
The world seems so much bigger now and I can’t tell if it’s because I’m living in a new and unfamiliar city or because the space you filled in my life is now empty. Here’s the truth: there’s no way I’ll be able to fill that space with anyone else. You are irreplaceable.
You would absolutely love it here, by the way. You would love the people I’ve met and how warm and welcoming they are. You would love how easy it is to get lost, but how OK it is because there’s freedom in finding your way home.
It’s crazy, but amongst all this hectic chaos and excitement, it’s still not the same as curling up with all of you at a bonfire in the middle of sweet suburbia. Of course, I wanted to escape the small town vibes, and I’m glad I did, but I promise you it is bittersweet.
I’m jealous of those of you at home. Life is simpler without a doubt. I guess that’s the appeal. However, more importantly, you’re all there. And I miss you. My new friends, while they are great, don’t know my every quirk. They don’t know my old nicknames, or the way I love going to concerts. They don’t know how seriously I take girls’ night. They don’t know how I religiously watch every "Harry Potter" marathon.
You know, though. Of course you do. You shared every one of these experiences with me. In fact, you created some of my most perfect memories for me. It was you who went with me on late night runs to get food. It was you that knew to bring me buffalo chicken dip to make me feel better after my first heartbreak. You’re the ones who calm me down after my anxiety attacks.
My friends at home, you have been my rock for so long. I wish I could have packed you in my luggage and brought you with me to my residence hall. There’s not much room here, but I would gladly squish you into my bunk with me.
I want to experience everything alongside you.
You taught me how to be me. I’m so grateful for that. I have loved you for every second I have known you and I will love you for an infinity more. So, when you go to the Homecoming game, I hope you think of me as you cheer alongside your classmates. When you go to the dance, I hope you think about how much I would have loved it. When it starts to get cool outside and they start making announcements about our annual Farm Show, I hope you remember that it was my favorite part of living in the middle of nowhere.
While I can’t be there beside you every step of the way, I will offer you a bit of advice. The world is so big here, but where you are isn’t as small as you may think. Seize every opportunity that you can. One day you may miss the familiarity of those closest to you. You’ll find yourself laughing in a room full of strangers and you’ll have this empty feeling as you remember all your friends back home who should be laughing alongside you. Someone will tell you about high school and everything you’re missing and you’ll scoff at the idea of high schoolers, but inside you’ll be missing every minute of it.
I miss you, but I know you’re having the time of your life even if you don’t realize it.
Please visit.
Yours,
The girl who feels lost without you
