You might think that writing a letter to someone you don't know too personally might be difficult, but for so many reasons I feel as though I know him better than most. You might also think that writing a letter to someone who might never read it is a bit pointless, but I have an inclination that he is reading this with every word that I write.

My grandfather passed away when I was only 9 months old, and as tragic as that is, I am blessed to have gotten to know him through those who knew him at his very best. I have heard countless stories, seen stacks of pictures and have felt his presence in every moment. Not a Father's Day has passed that I haven't wished that he would come walking up my driveway alongside my grandmother, but each year as she approaches, seemingly alone, I know that he is walking every step with her as he does each day for every person that matters most to him.

So this is to the man I wish that I knew better, but I know loves me more than I could imagine.

PeePaw,

I know that despite my lack of physical letters written to you, you have heard every word that I have thought and spoken. Sometimes I wonder when and if you are trying speak to me in ways that I just simply don't understand. I know that my mom hears your voice constantly in the back of her mind, and I realize that she hears you now, because she has heard you so many times in the past. For me, it's a bit more challenging because my memory has no physical image of your face or sound of your voice. All I have are the pictures of you holding me, but each time I look at them I oddly feel the imprint of your hands on my wrist and I still feel them on the days that I wish you were with me. Sometimes I feel the pain of you not being here, but more than that I feel the joy that your 54 years of life brought to so many. The stories that I have heard make so much sense to me as the years go by, because I think of you each time the story is relevant to my own life. The first time my tire pressure light in my car went off, which was actually just a few weeks ago, the first person I wished I could call was you, because apparently cars were your forte. I know this also because every now and then when I go through mom's closet, I see you and MeeMaw's personalized Corvette Club jackets hanging next to her wedding dress. One day, I hope that we can all manage to purchase the Corvette you always wished you had, and I hope that MeeMaw will be able to sit in the driver's seat with you this time.

These memories of yours and my mother's aren't my own, but I have taken all that I can from them because God knows how badly I wish that I had my own. He knows how much I miss you, even though I don't really have much to miss. So, I guess you could say that I just long for you. I long for your face in more of my old pictures, I long for your number in my cell-phone and I, as well as many, will long for you to be present for the monumental moments that life has yet to offer us.

I constantly ask Mom and MeeMaw questions about you, trying to wrap my mind around the type of grandfather you would be for me and I think I have a pretty decent idea. You would surely not be the most talkative, but you would speak in the most meaningful manner with the wisest words, very similar to MeeMaw. And although you wouldn't be as insanely active as I am sure you once were, you would still be up for fun times, inducing laughter and contagious smiles, just the way Uncle Buddy always does. And although you would seem a bit more closed off at times, I know that you would care more for Christian, Matthew and me than almost anyone else, the way that Mom does. Even though this is all just a general idea that I have created in my mind, that is all I need. Because I already feel the love in your heart within my own, I see it in MeeMaw's eyes when she looks at me. I feel it in the warm embraces from Mom, and I hear it in the long distance phone calls to Uncle Buddy. They make up the person that I imagine you to be.

So, even when you cannot be here, when you cannot seem to make your physical debut into my life, I know that you have and always will be here anyways guiding me in the ways that you wish you could have done more directly. Your lack of physicality gives me all the more reason to listen more closely when I need the words of a grandfather who knows more than I will ever know. I love you and the memories that I do have and the ones I have made up in my mind, and I hope that I will one day get to sit next to you and have many long conversations about all the things I wish I could have said personally and asked you in all the years of my life.

Please keep us all at the forefront of your mind and beneath your safest wing, and continue to pour your love into MeeMaw's soul. Now that I think about it, maybe she is my favorite person for a reason, because she exudes not only love from her own heart, but from two. I know that you already know how incredible every inch of her being is, so all I have left to say is that I hope to be just like her someday, and maybe, just maybe I will meet another version of you. The one man that makes me as happy as you have made her.

Xoxo,

Victoria