To Whom it May Concern:
It won't be easy having me as a friend. I'm moody, disconnected most days, I hold grudges but never bring them up, and I'm introverted. Most days I feel the world on my shoulders, and it makes me worry more than words can comprehend. As Missio puts it, "I'm uncontrollable, emotional, chaotically proportional, I'm visceral, reloadable, I'm crazy." I worry about everything there is to worry about; I spend days studying for a three question quiz because I'm scared if I miss three points on a 25 point quiz, I'll have to drop my major. I'm afraid of everything, as well; I'm afraid of not being heard, cared for, and being alone.
If you become one of my friends, I'll joke with you. I'll make jokes about every possible thing, even you, and if you don't laugh at one joke, I'll worry that you hate me. If you become one of my friends, I'll ask you a million questions a day because I actually want to know you inside and out, mostly because I'm curious, but also because I want to make sure you won't backstab me or walk over me. If you become one of my friends, I'll be outgoing. I'll do things with you: dance when your favorite songs come on, offer to drive when we go on road trips or give you a hand when you need it the most.
If you become one of my close friends, I will tell you everything. Multiple times. I'll tell you that I think no one likes me, or that I need to drop my major because I got a 22/25 on a quiz. I'll tell you that I don't want to lose you because you'd be one of two or three people I can dump my emotions on. If you become one of my close friends, I'll want to be around you for most of the day because I will care for you unconditionally, and I really have no one I can trust with myself. If you become one of my close friends, you'll know me much better than I know myself because of everything I'll tell you.
I care deeply for other people, so please handle me with care when I can't help someone or stop injustice. Don't get upset with me when I don't open up to you; I would much prefer to help you first, then worry about myself. Please listen to my rants with an open heart, whether it's about how much I dislike the current president, or if I break down about people not liking me for the nth time.
There are going to be hundreds of traits you have that I would kill for: your eye color, the length of your hair, your extroverted personality or openness, and your ability to deal with me when I can't do it. No matter what it is, just know that I wish I could be more like you.
