Dear Future College Friends:

First and foremost, thank you for being my friend. I’m sure this upcoming freshman year is going to have its ups and downs, so thank you for being a part of the ups (hopefully). We’re all in the same boat so I feel safe saying that I think we all need each other to get through this weird transitional year of our lives.

But that being said, I know that I’m difficult. Not that this is at all meant to be a pity letter-- I actually think I’m a hoot-- but maybe some of you can relate to me when I say that I don’t really know who I am. College is about discovering who you are, or so I’ve been told, but I’m nervous about never finding out who I am, or even hating who I actually am.

Honestly, right now, are any of us even real people?

I feel like we’ve all lived the past 12 years of our lives waiting for this year-- waiting for that move in day when you finally step foot on campus and start living the life you’ve been waiting to live because our schools have prepared us for it since we were 8 years old-- that we all lost a little something along the way. I don’t know what that something is, but I know that it’s missing. The expectations are high: we all have those dreams of first stepping onto campus, the sun shining, and seeing only smiling faces of your classmates looking up at you. The weather is warm and everything seems to finally have fallen into place after all our years of hard work. So, what happens if those expectations fall short-- which they probably will? And if college is about discovering who you actually are, who do I think I am right now? How much am I going to change-- am I even going to change at all?

So it’s difficult, and I can be difficult. We can all be difficult, because this is a difficult time (side note: are there any synonyms for the word ‘difficult’ besides ‘hard’?), but I really will be appreciative of you, my future friends, for dealing with me when the going gets tough.

We’re all a little bit too ambitious and a little too eager, and I think we’re all sending out some portrayal of ourselves that is a lot more golden and gleaming than we actually are (I mean, how else do we first make friends? You can’t weird them out right away, you have to save that for later), but if we’re friends in college past the first two weeks which will involve tears and stress and anxiety, then really, thank you. Even if we don’t stay friends past that first semester, or we become lifelong pals, thank you.

I’ve come to realize over this past year that asking for help isn’t a bad thing, and it doesn’t hurt your pride as much as you think it will. Within these next few months, there will be a lot of fun, and even though it’s easy to think about going out and exploring cities and meeting new people, I think it’s also important to be aware of those negative things that are coming, so you can find a few people to lean on when we need to (and so those people can lean on you in the same way).

I’m not that golden image that I’m pretending to be, and neither are you, so I’m glad we’ve started to know each other for real. I’m glad that we’re helping each other through this time. I’m glad that we both found friends from strangers within each other. I don’t know who I am, but hopefully I’ll figure it out along the way, and maybe you will too.

We all need friends and we all need some help once in a while, so thank you for being that to me.

I can’t wait to meet you.