Dear you,
I am writing to tell you that I am OK. That, despite all the horrid words you threw at me, I have come out the other side, better off and happier. You did not destroy me. I am also writing to thank you. To thank you for teaching me that it’s OK to let go of toxic people, for teaching me that not all best friends are for life. Also, I am writing to thank you for some great memories that I will always treasure.
You were my very first friend in college. You didn’t drink. Neither did I, and we became joined at the hip. We experienced so many “firsts” together: first toga party, first college break-ups, first concert, first serious relationships, and first time living on our own. You and I had movie nights and sleepovers in the dorms. One day we ate toast because we didn’t have a kitchen, but we did have a toaster. I will always treasure these memories. The memories with my best friend, the giggles, the dressing up in '80s clothes and the heart-to-hearts. You were there for me through a huge transition, and for that I am thankful.
When we had our big fight, the first person I wanted to talk to about it was you, but I couldn’t. That day opened my eyes to things I didn’t believe you were capable of. I truly did not know you could be so mean. I didn't understand why you couldn’t empathize with me, and I didn’t understand how so suddenly our friendship fell apart. Thank you, though. Thank you for showing me your true self. Thank you for not allowing me to go another two years sharing life with someone so unlike me. Thank you for showing me that, despite great memories, sometimes you have to let go.
It is because of you that I learned that you don’t have to stay friends with someone just because it’s the Christian thing to do. I learned that toxic people are OK to break ties with, and that it doesn't make me less Christian for doing so. I learned that there is a difference between forgiveness and friendship.
While we are on the topic, I do forgive you. I hope you forgive me for the wrong I did, too. I recognize that it wasn’t all you. Forgiveness and grace are given to me daily by a loving God, and I feel you deserve the same. No, we won’t ever be friends again, and we probably won’t ever speak again, but yes, I do forgive you.
Just so you know, I am fine. Great, actually. Life turned out to be fantastic for me after our “break-up” and I learned so much. I need to tell you that your words didn’t break me, your actions don’t haunt me and that I have moved on.
There will never be a day that I don’t look fondly back at our memories and smile. Thank you for being my friend for a season and thank you for teaching me so much about love and forgiveness, even amidst awful circumstances. I wish you the best of luck in life, old friend. Truly, I do.
Sincerely,
Me
