Dear Coach,

I know you're not the most sentimental or emotional person, and neither am I honestly. I don't really like to express how I feel most of the time, but on the rare occasion that I do, I try my best to spill it all out there. Anyways, moving forward, I just wanted to write you this letter because I wanted to thank you for putting up with me these past four years. AKA, the best four years of my life (so far that is). Believe it or not, as stupid as it sounds, I have the first email you sent me saved on my computer.

It was the first sign of hope, and motivation, and determination I had when first joining cross country. You had never met me, yet you told me that you thought I would be a great runner. And from the moment I read that, I knew I couldn't let you down. Ever. It was my goal to always try to make you proud because your opinion and feedback meant so much to me. You believed in me, and you didn't even know who I was yet.

Thank you for always believing in me. For pushing me to be better than I was than the last race or workout I ran. For trusting me, and taking the risk of handing me that varsity jersey my freshman year. For rolling the dice with me, and playing that wild card. I thank you, and owe if not all, then most of my cross country and track successes to you. You may disagree with that, or not, I'm not really sure, but to me it's true. I would not be the athlete I am had it not been for your coaching.

I remember being absolutely terrified to be running varsity my freshman year. Running at CIF as a freshman was insane to me. Mostly because I didn't really know what CIF was but I knew it was a big deal. But you trusted me enough to throw me in those races. On my birthday we had the South Bay Cup race at Columbia Park, and you came up to me, before the race as I was on the line with the other girls doing drills and strides. You told me that I had a shot at winning the race. This really got in my head. I thought to myself holy crap, if Tokuda thinks I can WIN the race that means I have to do it. That plan backfired. I blew up after the first mile and ended up finishing the race in 14th or 15th place. After the race I cried because I was super disappointed in myself, and was terrified that I had let you down, and had shown you that I was not the wild card you had hoped for. But that race didn't seem to change how you thought of me because you gave me the opportunity to run with the older varsity girls at league finals and CIF.

My sophomore year had set back my confidence. I wasn't the runner I had been the year before. My performances were sorta crappy, and I was never really happy with the outcome. They say running is a love/hate relationship, and sophomore year was definitely the hate part. I had never cried so much over something that I loved. My teammates got faster, and I remained the same, or even might have slowed down. I was chosen as an alternate to run at State. The second appearance South would make at the State Championships since Coach Christie's team had gone. I cried while running the course the day before. I cried when I called my mom to tell her I wasn't racing. I cried in front of Mia and Preethy because I was so upset, but in the back of my mind I knew I didn't deserve it. I ended up racing though. I still didn't pull off the best performance. But it was quite the experience. It was my sophomore slump.

Knowing I had a sucky sophomore season, I intended on making the comeback of the year. I didn't want to be the girl thrown to the sideline after being a promising runner my freshman year. I remember my junior year at Clovis, I was having a really good day in my opinion, and I was coming up on that last 200m stretch of the course, and I didn't even have to look to know where you were. I could hear you screaming at me, "RIVKA!! YOU ARE A KICKER! YOU CAN PASS THESE GIRLS YOU HAVE TO GO NOW!!!" And I stepped on the gas, and I tried my hardest to cross that line before the girls around me. In the write up for that race when we got back to school, you gave me a shoutout, and you had said how you and the other coaches weren't sure how I would perform that season due to me being at summer school, going on vacation, and being struck with an injury. You finished my shoutout by saying I had proven you wrong, and that I hadn't let you down once that season. And that… was one of my proudest moments. Along with that hug you gave me later that season when we ran PV Course. Coming back from that sophomore slump, that sucky season, to hearing that I hadn't let you down once my junior year, was what I had strived and worked hard for.

Your words meant everything to me. You may not think that everything you've said or done has had an impact on me, but it has. You're a living legend, and I look up to you so much. Like I said earlier, I never wanted to let you down. Going into my final season, I knew I had to go out with a bang, I knew I couldn't end my cross country career on a bad note.

Senior year rolled around, and of course, like always I was injured over the summer. Missing the first couple of races, I wasn't sure how things would end for me. Knowing it was going to be the last time I got to race under your coaching I couldn't hold back on anything. I made it my best season. We went to Portland, we were League Champions, we went to State for the third year in a row. Thank you for letting me take the reins on the girls team, and for shaping me to be a leader. I couldn't have made it through these four extremely painful, hard, intense, and exhausting years without you.

Again, thank you for being my coach. Thank you for putting up with all of my nonsense, with all of the good days, and with all of the bad ones. Thank you for pushing me in workouts and races. For cheering me on, and screaming at me during races when I'm struggling. Thank you for your trust, and your time and dedication. Tokuda, you are someone I will never forget. I owe so many of the things I've learned about myself, to you. I learned to trust in my abilities, to trust the process. I learned that one bad day doesn't constitute a season. I learned that even when I think I've given everything, there's always something more to give. I learned that I'm resilient. I learned that I can be a leader. I learned so many things from this sport alone. I wouldn't have joined the sport that changed my life if it weren't for you. You taught me about perseverance. You taught me how to go from being an underdog to becoming a champion.

These past four years have flown bye faster than I had hoped. It feels like just yesterday I was running my very first workout with the older girls, but I'm graduating now and I just can't wrap my mind around that yet. It doesn't feel real. You've changed my life in so many ways and without you I wouldn't be the person I am today. It breaks my heart that I'm going to be leaving the team, and leaving you and Rico with those crazies next year. But try your best to stay sane, but don't hesitate to whip them into shape for me. I'm going to miss hearing all of your fun stories, and funny side comments. But as I move on to the next chapter of my life, I am confident in moving forward, because of everything I've learned from you, and this sport.

Thank you for everything Tokuda.

With love,

Rivka the Goat :)