There’s no need to mention you by name because you know who you are. You are the one that, for whatever reason, despised me and your goal was to make my life miserable. You mocked me for numerous reasons. “Your arms are hairy.” “How dare you be dating so-and-so?” “You are friends with her?” “You are such a goody-two-shoes!” “Wow, you’re a preacher’s daughter? Ha, you must be the worst.” Your constant negativity rings through my head every single day. If I’m completely honest with you, it made me incredibly insecure and that is something I struggle with to this day.
You are the ones that cause my body to cringe whenever I meet someone with the same name because I picture you and your negative remarks toward me. You are the ones that, for a while, made me question my faith because I didn’t understand why God would allow you to be so hurtful toward me and mock my morals. However, I found peace in knowing that, as Jesus said in John 15: 18-19 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” So after 19 years of letting you hurt me, I want you to know that I forgive you.
For the longest time, I was bitter and would not forgive you. The more I held a grudge, the more I was drinking poison and waiting for you to die. I built up so much anger and bitterness inside of me, and it probably didn’t even occur to some of you that you hurt me that much. But now, the closer I become with my heavenly father, I more I realize that one of the biggest things holding me back in my relationship with him is my relationship with each of you.
In Matthew 6: 14-15 it says, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” How can I not forgive you when Jesus gave up his life for all of our sins, yours and mine, and forgives me each and every day when I fail him?
I want you to know I have forgiven you for the things you have done to me, regardless if you’ve asked for this forgiveness or not. I also want you to know that if you’ve hurt me because you were hurting, I am really sorry that you’ve felt this pain too. I pray for each of you. Despite your negativity toward me, I truly desire that you come to find rest in the Father and that you all live your life for him because he truly gives me hope in this world full of sin, hurt and pain.
