Dear Chris,

You left this world 21 years ago in an accident we were both in. I have thought in the past, "Why I didn't leave this world?" when you did, but I realized that it wasn't my time and that there was a plan for me. I know that the plan was for me to be able to grow up and share my story with the world and to take care of mom and dad.

Even though you were only five, and I was only two when you passed away, I still have memories of us playing with Hot Wheels and watching "Power Rangers" and "The Lion King." I have asked mom and dad to tell me stories about you, and they said you loved Power Rangers and Hot Wheels. I would say to mom, "Isn't this where Chris and I used to play?" when we were fixing up the old house in Texas. I always remembered things like that.

I saw the pictures of the accident for the first time in high school, and I still don't know how I made it out alive. The doctors had to teach me how to walk, talk, eat and use my arms all over again. I know you are looking down on me and are proud of how far I've come in life and that I have accomplished a lot.

I am set to graduate from college in December, and there have been times where I didn't think I'd get this far, but I've pushed through it all. I want to make you, mom, dad, and Zach proud of me. I wish you were here to celebrate the big moments in life like birthdays, Christmases, weddings, graduations — all of that. I wish you were here to talk to about all kinds of different things, whether it's life or sports. I wish you were here to make memories with.

You remind me of Simba, he was always adventurous and liked to get into all kinds of different things. Every time we come to Copperas Cove, we try to come to the grave site and place a Hot Wheels car there for you and flowers for Nani. When we come, I always stand there and think about how much I admired you and how you always liked to smile in pictures. You were the mischievous one, and I think you rubbed off on Zach a little bit because he was always getting into stuff when he was little, just like you did.

I wear a necklace with your name and Nani's name on it so I always have something to look at to remember you by. I wear it every day, and it makes me feel safe. I also sleep with the Power Rangers pillow that was yours and the pillow with angels on it. I take both of those on long road trips because it makes me feel safe and shows me that you are watching over us. I wish you were here to go on vacations with or even to just a long road trip with no plans. I want you to know that I'm doing my best to make you proud and show everyone that I'm stronger than most people think I am.

I know you are looking down on us and keeping us safe. I love and miss you, bro. Thank you for being my guardian angel.

Sincerely,

your brother.