A Letter To My Best Friends At Home

A Letter To My Best Friends At Home

Side by side, or miles apart, real friends are always close to the heart.

This letter is going to be my attempt at telling you just how much I love and miss you. I don’t know if I can put into words exactly what I want to say, but I’m going to give it my best shot because you deserve at least that.

My Dear Friends,

First off, I want to thank you. The list of things I want to thank you for is a mile long and I could never name everything. There are a few though I would like to point out. I want to thank you for being my rock after my dad died. You have been there with me through some of my darkest times. You were there when depression and anxiety took over my life, but you never once judged me. You were there when my mom lost her job, not once but twice. You were there when I left for school with absolutely no idea how I was going to pay for it. You have been there with your supportive texts and embarrassing Snapchat selfies to make sure we didn’t grow apart. Thank you for that. You have always believed in me and supported me in every way possible. You are the reason I’ve accomplished so much and the reason why I have never given up. Thank you for being so strong. You may not know this, but I look up to you. I’m so thankful that you have let me be a part of your life. I’ve loved every minute of watching you grow and chase your dreams. You inspire me. I’m so thankful that you, are you.

I also want you to know how much I miss you. I miss our late nights at the barn and the uncontrollable laughter we would break into over absolutely nothing. I miss the home cooked meals we used to share together. They were so good and so much better than college food. Leaving you behind when I left for school has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I may not have shown it on the outside, but I was extremely nervous about leaving. You had become such a big part of my everyday life. The thought of you no longer being a short drive away was something I didn’t like to think about. Texts, Snapchats, and weekly FaceTime sessions just aren’t the same. The weekends I get to come back and spend with you are something I look forward to all the time. I don’t know how else to tell you how much I miss you. I just hope you know that I do.

This part may seem a little weird, but I want you to hear this. I want to apologize if I have ever made you feel like I’ve replaced you with my new life at school. If I have ever made you feel that way please know that was never my intention. I struggle with balancing the life I left behind at home and the life I’m living here at school, but I always want you to be a part of my life. No matter where I am, please know I will never forget about you. You mean way too much for me to ever forget about you.

Lastly, I love you so freaking much. The friendship I have found within you is something I rely on to get me through each and every day. I love knowing that I have you to lean on no matter what. I know I don’t tell you enough how much you mean to me.

Promise me that you won’t forget about our laughs, our jokes, our smiles, our conversations, our plans, our tears, our memories, our experiences or our friendship.

I promise to never forget about you.

I’ll see you soon.

Love, Sierra

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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To the girl who left us behind

You may have thought that it was best for you, but in reality you were only helping us

To the girl who left us behind,

I graduated in 2017. Nearly one year ago. When you graduate you expect to stay in touch with some people, but you accept that there are some people who you will probably never see again, let alone talk to. After walking across the stage, getting my diploma and attending all of the graduation parties I said goodbye to some people, forever, without even knowing it.

For almost as long as I can remember I have had three best friends. We were practically inseparable since 6th or 7th grade. It was rare that you would see one of us without at least one or two others around. We spent weekends at each others houses, played on the same sports teams, joined the same clubs, and practically did everything together. The boys that we would hang out with would make fun of us because they noticed it seemed to them that we couldn’t do anything without the others. It wasn’t that we couldn’t do anything alone, we just enjoyed being around each other, we were best friends.

That was until we graduated. We were best four best friends until we walked across the stage, said our goodbyes after the final graduation party and parted ways as we went to college. It didn’t even take until college to see who was really my friends of the four of us, it was less than a week before I never heard from one of my so called best friends ever again. And for this, I could not be more thankful.

In our group of four there was always a clear line, two and two. I loved the other two girls but I was always just better friends with one girl. It had been like this for forever, and everyone knew it, not just us. But once we graduated it became extremely true. But it didn’t break two and two. It was one and three. And this was sad and frustrating at first, and then ended up being a great thing, for all of us.

Nearly 9 months without talking and I knew all hope for the friendship was gone once i saw she tweeted ‘my biggest glow up feature in college was my friends’. At the time yes, this pissed me off. I texted my other friends as soon as I saw it and sad things like “I don’t know what is worse, that we were great friends and put up with her shit. Or that we still sat in that house last week, were the bigger people and acted like nothing ever happened even though we all know we don’t talk to her anymore.” The amount of time I spent with this girl, the amount of secrets of mine she held, the amount of late night memories we shared and there was nothing, no explanation, no final goodbye. Just complete silence. There was that tweet which made it pretty clear she had no interest in being friends with us anymore.

But it made me a better person. I realized that the entire time we had been friends she was tearing me down. She was killing my happiness and I never even noticed it. Our relationship was a toxic one and she did me the biggest favor in the world by cutting me off, because I was afraid to do it myself.

She thinks her biggest ‘glow up’ was her friends. And knowing her, that is probably exactly what she believes. But that is NOT mine. My biggest glow up was growing up, realizing my worth and surrounding myself with people who truly care about me and radiate positivity. And I am thankful and blessed that the people I have surrounded myself with now continue to be with me through this entire process. I am continuing to learn everyday that people who make you feel like you’re not worth anything are never worth your time. I have grown and realized that you can give someone one million chances, you can give them all of your time and love and compassion and understanding. But if they don’t want it or they think they are to good for it than you are better off being left on read, or completely left behind. AND THAT IS OK.


The girl who is finally happy now that you're gone

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I Love Being An Aunt

Aunt- a person who can give hugs like a mother, keep secrets like a sister, and share love like a friend.

While home for spring break, I was able to spend some quality time with my four year old niece and my two year old nephew. Both of them boost my mood and remind me just how much I love the joy that kids constantly carry around.

I have been an aunt for almost five years, and it is one of my favorite things about my life. There's a special place in my heart for these kids, and I can't begin to explain how much they mean to me. My niece and I bond in a way that makes my heart so full of joy. She is constantly running to me with her arms wide open for a hug. She always wants to hang out with me, and it makes me feel so important. Not to mention, spoiling her is one of my favorite things to do!

My nephew has such a big personality for his age. He loves when I give him piggy-back rides and hurt myself on purpose. His smile is contagious and his heart is already so so big. Him and my niece are both so friendly and can make me laugh for hours.

I would love to be a mom one day, but being an aunt is something that is truly unique and wonderful. I feel so protective over these two smiling kids. I would do anything to help them have the best life ever. They have amazing parents and grandparents. so I know that they are blessed and happy.

I am truly a proud aunt. I get so excited to show my friends the cute pictures my sister posts of them. I always feel so sad when my niece just can't understand why I have to keep leaving her to go back to college. But she is always there to greet me when I come home after my long, seven hour drive. Her grin and laugh keep me going.

I hope to be an aunt to even more wonderful little kids. Nothing fills my heart up and fulfills my time at home more!

Cover Image Credit: Google Images

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