Adam is 18-years-old and a senior in high school—he loves pizza, nature, pretty girls and video games.
Sounds pretty typical, right?
If you ever met Adam, though, you wouldn’t think he was 18. His chubby cheeks, the look in his big brown eyes—and most of all, his personality and maturity level—would lead you to believe he was younger.
Adam has Asperger’s syndrome: “An Autism Spectrum Disorder characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and nonverbal communication, alongside restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests.”
Having a little brother with Autism hasn’t been easy, to say the least. Our family faces unique challenges everyday—but, through Adam we also receive unlimited joy, blessings and laughter. He’s taught us more about life and love than many people ever learn.
And there are so many reasons why I am thankful Adam is, well…the way he is.
Dear Autistic Brother,
It’s inspiring to see such enthusiasm for the world around us.
Today, we were on our way home from your school. I was driving, you were in the passenger’s seat and you burst into shocked gasps, pointing out the window. I think my heart stuttered as I glanced over, half expecting to see an eighteen wheeler barreling toward us. But, no, you had spotted a family of deer in the passing meadow.
You said, “There’s four of them…no, five! Danniah, look how precious and gentle they are. Isn’t it amazing? So beautiful.”
And in unexpected moments like those, I see the world anew, through your eyes, through the vision of one possessing the inexplicable ability to see the magic of the world around us in each moment.
You will find a way to do what you want to do, no matter what, dammit.
If you don’t want to try the broccoli stuffed chicken we are pushing you to taste at dinner, there is no way in hell even a fork-full is getting anywhere near your mouth.
You decide to run a 5k that benefits cheetahs at the Zoo, so you do it in pure Adam fashion—with little to no training prior to race day, by the way. Bravo, Adam. (Walking counts as running too, if you’re doing it for the cheetahs, right? Absolutely.)
When you meet a new person and choose to talk their ear off, you morph into an overzealous, mildly embarrassing social butterfly (and your sisters and parents, a.k.a. your guardian angels, make sure the recipient isn’t a creep, because at this point we know the uh-oh feeling just doesn’t exist for you).
And, if you want to lay around the house all day, and I mean ALL DAY, relaxing with your Gameboy while munching on apples and inhaling slice after slice of pizza, then you do it.
You know what makes you happy. You’re ahead of the game in that department, the rest of us are all just still trying to figure it out.
Your childlike innocence reminds me of what is important in life.
The other day, we were driving home in the evening, just the two of us. You looked up at the moon and said, “It’s a crescent moon! Hey, it kinda looks like a banana. Well, that’s the most beautiful banana I’ve ever seen, don’t-cha think, Danniah?”
Your humor and genuine sweetness made me smile. I cherished that moment more than you will ever know.
I pray the world shows you nothing but kindness.
I worry about you everyday, hoping your classmates and the people you encounter treat you with dignity and respect. I hope they see how truly lovely you are because your soul is so pure and bright.
You honor everyone around you because you always see the best of them. You don’t see flaws, you see fellow travelers in life, experiencing each moment as if it’s a beautiful gift, which of course, it is.
I love you, Adam. I’m so happy to be your big sis.
Love, Danniah
Autism is becoming more and more prevalent. Once an obscure disorder, it’s now so commonplace that few are not touched in some way by its reach. Most have someone in their life who falls somewhere along the Autism Spectrum. As a society we need to accommodate this growing trend.
So, I encourage everyone to strive for Autism acceptance. When you think an individual may have an Autism Spectrum Disorder, consider expressing more tolerance. Allow yourself to embrace acceptance.
Adam has brought something special to my life. Something irreplaceable because, just as Adam sees the magic in a family of deer in a meadow, he also sees the magic in me. And through him, at times, I have been able to glimpse parts of that magic that I never knew existed. I cannot fathom a more priceless gift.
