This is to you, Mum

I remember walking into my second week of freshman-year English class. Our first essay assignment was to write a three-page paper regarding an individual we admired. My teacher explained this certain person must be inspirational and have positively affected our everyday life. Someone who illuminates strength and courage while conquering everyday life.

Mum, the only person I thought was worthy of this paper was you.

I wrote about how you crush obstacles like a sport and that every single day you encourage me to build up my strength. But mainly that your unconditional love is a constant gift I would never be able to live without, and I hope to one day give you everything (also, thank you for the 94% on my paper).

I remember how you woke up every morning at 5 a.m. just to eat breakfast with me. You would ask "how did you sleep?" or "did you get enough to eat?" You sat there with bed hair and sleepy eyes just so you had the ability to spend time with me before I went about my day. I explained to you that there was no need to eat breakfast along with me at the crack of dawn, but you insisted and I thank you for these early morning conversations.

I remember running home with my heart broken and mascara dripping down my cheeks. You reached for the tissues and told me "everything happens for a reason," and "it wasn't meant to be." I found comfort knowing that all would be well because of your words, Mum.

Those phrases gave me strength and have never meant more to me than they do now.

I remember you took half a day off, even though it meant you would receive less on your paycheck, to come to my senior mother's tea party. You looked at me with tears in your eyes and made sure I knew how proud you were of the direction I was headed in life. I will never forget the sacrifices you made in order to show me love and support.

I remember all the tears and laughter in between the little aspects of my life that you brighten. You are a light I cannot live without, and I hope you understand your impact has shaped the best parts of the woman I am today.

I will one day fly us to Italy with thousands of euros to spend on pasta and coffee. We can speed around on our Vespas while using a flat map instead of our phones. You won't have to worry about losing two weeks worth of pay because I will cover it.

I will take you to Pier 1 Imports and let you buy dozens of wall quotes. We will spend hours putting them up and re-thinking our decision of placing the gold picture next to the shiny blue one. We can laugh and joke about the times when life seemed impossible and everything I promised you was far into the future.

I will help you open a Dutch Brother's Coffee stand near our home. You will manage the stand and employees as if they were your own family (and of course, you will always have access to a Dutch Freeze).

Finally, I will make sure you have everything you could possibly need. Everything you provided me with, from a shoulder to cry on to a 6-in-the-morning Starbucks run for the days when leaving your warm bed sounds exhausting. Even on my hectic days, I will find a way to put life off and talk to you in person or over the phone. Nothing will get in the way because nothing stopped you from being my constant rock to lean on for the past 19 years.

Until the day I can give you all of this and every cup of coffee in between, I hope you understand how grateful I am to call you my mum, but most of all, my best friend.

You deserve this and much more than I could ever put into words.

You spend every day without negativity, signs of weakness or hate. You only persist forward with pure strength. I too hope to get to this point someday. I hope to continue to find the strongest parts inside of me and let them illuminate during times I feel as though I'm breaking down, just as you do. You made sure to lift me up and help me through the burdens of life. Who can find enough strength for themselves and another human being? You can, Mum.

Always keep what I have said in these past 800 words in the back of your mind. When life is a bit messy and you're wondering what it's all for, remember, it all flows into my life and I am forever grateful.

Those Vespas in Italy are calling our names, and one day we will be by an airport gate that reads "Verona, Italy."

I'll get you there, Mum, I know I will.

Love from,

Your daughter