To a person in pieces,
You’re hurting. There are a million and four possible causes to this but only one effect and that is a hurting heart. It’s probably not just your heart that is hurting. "Gossip Girl" character, Blair Waldorf once said, “They say it’s a broken heart, but I hurt in my whole body.”
Once the cause of sorrow is introduced, the pain starts in your chest. Your lungs take a strong pull of air as your throat becomes locked. Then your stomach feels sick within seconds as if you could throw up at any moment. Your mind becomes a racetrack. Each car flying by at extreme speeds is an individual thought, each different than the other. The spectators watching them race by are what ifs. Your mind is officially clustered. There is no possible way for you to think clearly. Your legs and arms will freeze at first as if you are paralyzed but after a minute or so, they are the only things about you that will work right for the next day. Within the time span of a week, you’ll become more physically, emotionally, and mentally balanced, but your heart may never stop hurting.
The heart holds on to every emotion it has ever felt. Every picture, person, memory, etc. tied to that emotion, stays with it. For some reason, the feeling of pain is always most prominent. Pain is not able to be ignored. No matter how many times you tell yourself it’s not there, it proves itself in fact to be there, stronger than ever. It stays constant yet comes in waves. For instance, you’re at the movies with your friends. You all just had a nice lunch, filled with laughter, smiles, and nothing but happiness. You sit down at the movies and the commercial starts. It’s a commercial for the fourth movie in a horror film series. You saw the previous three with a specific person who has become linked to the feeling of pain. It all clicks in your mind and your entire mood changes. The emotional and physical happenings as previously described occur once again. Just 20 seconds ago, you were perfectly fine. Now, you feel the exact opposite. These occurrences may happen forever, and will come at the most random and possibly inconvenient of times. The question here is how does one deal with this perpetual pain?
Step one: acceptance.
Your heart holds a lot. The pain does weigh heavy. One must understand it is there and allow it to be there. The sooner you accept it, the sooner it won’t be as surprising when it shows itself.
Step two: positivity.
I know what you’re thinking, Wow, B., that’s really cliche. I know, but I mean it. You’ve just accepted that the pain is going to be there, so now continue your life in a positive light. Constantly remind yourself that you are enough. You have so much self-worth. You are one in approximately 7.125 billion people. (Yes, I just looked up how many people are on Earth. I did that for you.) That’s crazy. Here you are, living life amongst over seven billion human beings. None of them are you.
Just remember -- in her song "Firework," Katy Perry says: “You don't have to feel like a wasted space, you're original, cannot be replaced.” Keep your head up and remember, you are enough.
Whether you have been suffering for minutes or years, I hope it all gets better. I hope one day you feel as if this pain was just a toll booth on the road of life. You feel as if you’re stopping and paying an emotional price, but eventually, you’re all paid for and it’s time to continue on. There may be another toll booth along the way, but you will always pay up and continue on. You will always prevail. You will always be enough. On that note, stay positive and even try passing it on to others. Your smile and laughter are infectious.
