Everything about leaving high school provides a sense of liberation. Overcoming this obstacle is no easy feat, but spending those long nights and even longer class periods with you made it extraordinary. We promised ourselves that we’d keep in touch as we moved from the confines of the hall to the farthest reaches that the world has to offer.

Unfortunately, that’s not a realistic expectation. No matter how many promises we made and no matter how many times we promised again, we will have to say goodbye. Sometimes that just becomes a slow disintegration of a bond forged long ago. That’s the saddest kind of separation.

We spent years within the same building, worrying about the boys that caught our eyes and the menial assignments that filled the pages of our planners. Without all of that, though, I guess we just didn’t have enough in common to let our bond flourish outside of it. Without that common denominator, our interactions would have been silence and blank stares.

I’m sorry if it seemed like I gave up on you. When it was time for me to move on I simply couldn’t imagine a place beside me for you. We were too superficial. Too shallow- by the end.

Maybe I could have been better. Or rather, I should have been better. But I was young and dumb.

It was hard to remember the good times and the promises we made when there was so much volatility in our friendship. Toward the end, I was relieved when we severed communications. Putting the dog to sleep, so to say. It was better off that way.

There’s no use in trying to save something that simply can’t be.

Having to see each other at the ends of the halls and pass without a word didn’t help the guilt and anger that was bubbling between us.

Now, we are so far apart I don’t think we will ever drift back into each others’ lives. At least not the way that we were.

And that’s okay.

Because when we grow up, we grow apart, too.

We can go our separate ways and not fall apart. Part of finding yourself is moving away from those who can’t find a place with you. That is true for the both of us.

Loneliness is something you don’t get used to. You just get better at understanding it. And I was lonely when we parted ways.

I’m growing, though. I know that I am off to better things, and I know that you are too.

It’s okay that we don’t hang out and it’s okay that we don’t call or text.

I know that we resolved what needed resolving and we made apologies that were needed all those months ago. I know that we found closure in our severe break.

If we continue from here, it won’t be the same. It can’t be the same. But that’s okay.

We’ve grown up. The people we are today are not the same as the doe-eyed young girls that walked out of that school with a skip in their step.

You have filled that space beside you with newcomers as I have filled yours. That doesn’t mean that we can’t find a space for each other, it just means that we may never have those sleepless nights filled with gossip and bad movies.

There will always be space for you here. I would still give you what I could to help you if you needed it. Not because I feel entitled to treat you as such because of the “best friend” label, but because now I respect you as the person you have become and will always want to best for you. I still want to see you become everything you wanted to be, whether I am there with you or not.

I wish you the best, friend.