Dear friend,
I'm really sorry to hear that your relationship has not worked out. It happens sometimes, even with those we think will never leave. I know you hoped they'd stick around, but some people just aren't meant to. And that's okay. Whether or not they teach you a lesson doesn't really matter. You enjoyed your time with them while you had it. There will be other really great times in your future regardless of who is in it. C.S. Lewis said, "There are far far better things ahead than any we leave behind." Stick by that. I promise it's true.
You'd be surprised how often hearts break. It's rarity that first loves are the last loves. That's not a bad thing. You're going to change a few more times after this last partner and that's okay. You wouldn't want to be held back or hold them back.
People often change like seasons. How else would they grow? A flower dies in fall to come back in spring. You'll grow back too. I promise.
I know it hurt like hell after you let them plant flowers in your lungs. It hurts to breathe now that they've gone and the flowers have died, but remember when John Green said, "It's gonna hurt because it matters." But it won't hurt forever.
Since you're newly single, it doesn't mean you have to be ready to mingle. Give yourself time to plant your own flowers in your lungs. That way the most important person in your life always loves you. Take yourself on dates. Do things you've always wanted to do. You don't need another partner to be happy. Practice being happy on your own. If that's spending the day in a park reading, do it. If it's taking yourself fishing, reel in a good one. You deserve to be happy.
Don't let your happiness depend on someone else. If you can be happy by yourself, you'll always be happy no matter who you are with or without.
If it hurts to do the things you used to with them, give it some time and try again. It won't hurt so bad one day and you'll be able to make new memories there and be able to appreciate the old for what they were.
Don't text your ex-partner back if it still hurts. Don't call them back either. Let the phone ring and ring and ring. The only way you're going to heal is if you take some time to yourself. Talking to them isn't time for yourself. And if they really cared about you, they'll understand. If you're still lusting after them, you'll miss anyone who might be good for you in the future.
Talk to your friends and family. Let them support you. Healing is hard and the people who love you want to see you happy.
You are not unlovable. Time heals all wounds and while you might want to lick yours for a minute, that's okay. Take your time.
Don't worry. I'm sure you will love again if you want to. Love has a way of finding its way back into our lives. It's part of being human. So let yourself be human and heal.
