There are times when I still can’t believe that I lost my best friend. Some days when I reminisce on the past, I think of you and I miss you so much it almost hurts. We were so close in high school, inseparable. From the moment we met, I thought I had found my soulmate (in friend form). You were always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on; I strived to be as strong as you. I trusted you with all I had. It was the best feeling to have someone like you in my life. You were like another sister, that's how close we were. I figured you would be my maid of honor at my wedding, the one that was calming my nerves in the moments before. I never thought that it would come to an end.
Everything started to change when we left for college. We were still best friends but it was difficult. We went from seeing each other on a daily basis so not seeing each other for weeks at a time. I watched as our friendship slowly started to die. Looking back, I could've done something to prevent it, but then again, you could've too.
The first time we saw each other since leaving for school, I could tell we both thought we would pick up where we left off, like old times. But it wasn't old times. We were both different, made new friends, liked things we didn't like before. Our conversation was dull, awkward at times. I didn't know what to say to you anymore. We used to be able to talk about anything and never run out of things to say, but I didn't really know you anymore. Did you still like the same things? Would I know what you'd wanna talk about?
Once we went back to school, I knew what would happen with us. We used to talk morning to night but it eventually diminished into nothing at all. Now, we are no longer best friends, no longer sisters. You have turned into someone I don't even know anymore. What happened to us?
Sometimes I wonder where we would be in life if we had stayed as close as we once were. Would I be as happy as I am today? What experiences would I have had or not had if we stayed friends? Would I be the person I am today?
I wish we tried harder. I wish we fought for a friendship that we both thought would last a lifetime. You were my person, but now you're just a person that used to be my best friend. But still, after not talking or seeing each other for almost three years, I would still be your person if you needed me to be.
When I see what you're up to from Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat, I see that you're happy. It makes me happy that you are living such a full, happy life. And although we have lost our friendship, just know, I will always be here for you whenever you need a friend.
