Dear Crushes I Will Never Date,
It's been a while since I've seen some of you, and it's been quite a wild ride since then. Some of you didn't know that I ever had a crush on you and others of you were well aware.
Ever since kindergarten, you have all been a huge part of me growing up, whether you knew it or not. No one ever thinks of the roles that crushes can play in your life, at least I never did until now and I have a few things to tell you.
I am so different now.
In kindergarten, crushes are cute and the only purpose they serve is to make you more self-aware and to have fun sessions of gossiping with your friends. It stays that way until about junior high, then crushes get serious and feelings get hurt. Self esteem can be damaged and some of you definitely damaged mine.
I don't blame you. Like I said, I'm different. You made me realize that I should never find my identity in who I like or who I want to date. We become better people because of the people we never dated because those mysteries left unsolved help fuel our imagination. This is what could have happened and I'm so glad it didn't.
The fact that you mean nothing to me is meaningful.
What a paradox. At one point in my life, I thought about you constantly. You were the object of my affection, but that's all you were: an object. Because you were nothing more than an idea, a possibility, my emotions were able to bounce back.
Now I look back at you fondly and thank everything that is good that you don't mean anything to me. I am strong enough to move on from something that seemed so full of meaning, but never really was. That's a lesson that has made my life so much sweeter.
You make such a great story.
The best part of the fact that we never happened is the stories that I can tell because of it. The wasted time worrying is all just a lesson I can tell my friends and family. I can tell them not to worry so much because if I can get over it, so can they.
We all went through that awkward stage of life and showing people pictures of you when I had a crush on you is priceless. It's so much fun to make fun of me and you.
I hope we continue to have crushes.
We're grown up now, but having crushes is no less fun. The thrill of something new and the possibility of something wonderful is almost too much to let go of. I hope you have had some sweet crushes since we've last interacted, I certainly may have.
Let's continue to revel in our potential stupidity and talk to our friends all about it. Now that we're older, the wonderful thing about a crush is that it can turn into so much more. Here's to finding our "so much more."