An Open Letter To All Single Ladies

An Open Letter To All Single Ladies

8 Reasons Why Singleness is better than Unintentional Dating


When I was single, I often got the question, “Why aren’t you dating… you’re pretty you shouldn’t be single” to which I awkwardly reply, “thanks”. Society tells us that pretty girls date nice guys. However, what if we thought differently. What if we waited to find the guy God has made for us; the one GOD already claims is ours.
Crazy?... maybe Worth it?... Definitely.

So here's some advice to all the single ladies out there, trust me, waiting is worth it.

1. Unintentional dating leads to heartbreak

Listen, friends. When you begin to enter into a dating relationship that is unintentional, it seems like no harm will be done. You aren’t planning anything, so it seems simple, easy… but there’s always a catch. As human beings it is almost instinct that we look for love and appreciation. All too easily, time and time again we fall for people who don’t feel the same way as we do. And, from experience, it is awful. If you begin a relationship in an unintentional manner, you are bringing heartbreak and pain upon yourself. Stay intentional in your relationships and always be sure that your intentions are morally in line with Gods.

2. You’ll be more aware of what you look for in a man.

Ladies, being single allows you to not only focus on God, but it allows you to focus on the standards God sets for young men. Personally, being single allowed me to focus on the character of a godly man. In my time of singleness, I realized that if a man doesn’t strive to represent Ephesians 5, I don’t want to pursue a relationship with him. Singleness is a time period you should be grateful for. Be grateful that you have been given time to focus on finding the man God wants you to be with. Instead of viewing singleness as a burden, recognize the good that comes from being single.

3. You’ll be more secure in yourself

Singleness allows us to take a step back and work on ourselves. Too often, when we pursue relationships we end up losing a part of ourselves in trying to be all that a guy wants. Before entering into a relationship, it’s wise to take a look at yourself… flaws and all and be sure that you are confident in Christ and through that that you have confidence in yourself. When we enter into relationships it is so easy to put that man in the place of God. All too often we end up getting our assurance from our significant other, when God calls us to trust in HIM, not man. Recognize that singleness allows us to find ourselves buried in the grace of Jesus, before we try to find ourselves a man.

4. Unintentional dating leads to a question of boundaries

First off, in all relationships it is KEY to set boundaries. Whether your boundaries are simple, such as never being in a house alone or whether they are more complicated… determining boundaries is SO IMPORTANT. With this, your boundaries should be in line with God’s law. Too often boundaries are used so that we can get as close to sin as possible without actually sinning, however, remember that your goal in a relationship should be to honor God- not to try to push limits and stretch your boundaries. When you throw in the struggle of determining boundaries when dating without a purpose or just to “get to know someone better”, things get messy, quickly. To be safe, it is best to save yourself from hassle… stay single or be intentional.

5. Unintentional dating already proves that your significant other isn’t seeking after God the way they should be

I’ve already touched on this a bit, but when a man begins pursuing you to date, He should be open with his intentions. When a man does this he is showing you that he is taking the relationship seriously, and is striving to be God-honoring by putting your feelings and you above his own thoughts and feelings. Ladies, be patient in waiting for a man who intentionally pursues you.

6. You can lean on God to provide the right guy, in the right time

One of the greatest blessings to being single is being able to throw aside worry. So many girls my age are worried about being single. They think that to be a successful individual they have to be dating a man. And although I'm extremely happy and in love in the relationship I'm in, if my boyfriend wasn't pursuing me and wasn't be intentional, we wouldn't be together. I’d rather be single and trusting in God to provide an Ephesians 5 man, than to unintentionally date for my own pleasure. From my own experiences, I find so much peace in knowing that God is writing my love story even now. It’s a blessing to not have to worry about being single, because I know God has a plan and that all things will come together in His timing. Even though I met the love of my life at eighteen, if God would have not brought us together until we were eighty, I would have been altogether be just as joyous and thankful.

7. Unintentional dating was never in God’s plan

Jesus coming to die for the Church is the greatest depiction of love that we, as Christians, have. Just as Christ pursued the Church; Just as God moves upon sinners for salvation, so we are to pursue our significant others. God is intentional with the relationships He has with his Church. Be like Christ. Be intentional

8. Ending a dating relationship, or not entering one doesn’t mean you can’t be friends

If you have been reading this and you really don’t think your relationship is coming from a God-centered, God-honoring place, in no way am I condemning you. I am merely asking you to examine your relationship with God and with your significant other. Realize that if you choose to end a relationship or not enter into a relationship where you aren’t intentionally dating in a way that is honoring to God, you are saving yourself from heartbreak and unhappiness. Be joyful in knowing that God has a plan.

Friends, Be intentional, know that God has a plan. Cheerfully choose singleness until God chooses to place you in a relationship that honors him.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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