No amount of hand-crafted gifts will ever be able to fully embody all that you do. Not that I haven’t tried. I may only be so many years old but I can truly say that all my growth has been in some type of search to express my love. From your eyes it may seem that every step taken, whether it be strong or a little shaky, is one meant for independence. But from my eyes each of those steps were held up by your strong hands until I could take those steps myself. Hands that have nurtured, supported, and have always held me close no matter the circumstances.
It seems that despite the growing rate at which letters can be pieced together to create words, no words will truly be able to highlight my appreciation. So just know, I’m trying to say “I love you” in every way possible, and I know every time it’s hard to say “I love you” back to me, I feel it in everything else you do. I felt it every time you tucked me into bed, or told me as many stories as I wanted until I started drifting off. I felt it every time you left your bedroom door open so I could come in after I watched a scary movie. I felt it every time I woke up in my bed after falling asleep in the car. Of course things slowly changed as we got older, for some it became easier to say those three words and for others it became harder. But I could still feel it no matter what.
Soon it wasn’t just in the sweet gestures, but I felt your love in the gestures that may have caused disagreements. I’m sorry about the “Terrible Twos” but I’m sure the “Teen Terror” years were harder, especially since a cute baby wasn’t causing the trouble. I felt the love in every argument, every time you had to say to a tough request, I especially felt the love when you supported everything I said even if you knew there were holes in my story. I see the love in every sacrifice that has been made; I feel the love in the mutual respect, in the appreciation for our sacrifices as well. I saw the love as you slowly crunched away numbers to see if we could buy something I had asked for. I felt the love as you set me free on every adventure that was possible, and I even felt it when you tried to let me go but life held us back. The most common voices to cry about the harsh effect of comparisons are those of children; however I know the harmful effect they have on you as well. I hope there will come a day when I won’t have to put this sentiment into words, but until then I will always be here to say: Life doesn’t need to happen one certain way for you to be great. Money does not make you any better, nor did it hinder your lessons. It never caused your love to falter in any type of way and that is exactly how we feel. Nothing can take away from the strength, kindness, and warmth you have shown to me, nothing can touch the undying love between us.
It’s now time for me to return the favor. I know it’s hard to slam the brakes on the selfless lifestyle you have built around the love you have for us, but it’s time to slowly ease into it. For years I have felt and seen your love, but I was never able to truly voice mine. I wasn’t able to effortlessly personify my love in the same way you have. But I’ve been trying, you can even say I’ve been training. Go on your adventures now. Chase after the things that were slowly put on the back burner as you accepted the role of helping another person grow. I will always be here with full support, open arms, and a heart full of love.
I will always be your baby.
I will always be your best friend and you mine.
I will always love you.
Sincerely,
An eternally grateful human
