To a Much Younger Version of Myself,
You may think you know everything. But let me be the one to tell you, honey, because I know how you react, you don’t. You will never know everything. You will learn that the more you see, the less you really know. And you have so much more to see.
Life will throw curveballs at you time and time again. You will lose your 4.0 GPA, but that’s not a bad thing. In fact, it will lift a weight off your shoulders that you never really know the weight of until it’s gone. Take what you know and run with it. Your life isn’t about knowing how to use SOH-CAH-TOA (although it will come in handy in college) or knowing Newton’s 2nd Law (you’ll learn that later and it will be okay). Your life is about experience and applying that experience. The things that were once your weaknesses will soon become your strengths. Don’t let this world get you too down, kid.
Music will always have your back. After a bad day, you’ll come home and listen to your favorite bands, and they’ll lift you up. As time goes on, you’ll branch out and discover new music that moves your soul and shakes you to the very core. You’ll learn to appreciate how special it is to sing with other people and how beautiful it is to be a part of something so much bigger than yourself. You’ll feel loved, and after so many years of feeling like an outsider, you’ll finally have a home, a safe haven. Cherish that.
Your heart will be broken. That is a solid fact. And it will hurt. Oh, my dear, it will hurt. You will feel the world crashing down around you. Your chest will feel as if it is caving in, and it will feel like you can’t breathe. But you can. You always can. You’ll go months feeling angry and broken and used, but you can’t go on like that. You’ll feel like you’ll never find closure, but those doors will close at the most unexpected times, and just as you realize that you’re over your heartbreak, another door will open. For all those times at school dances when the slow songs come on and you’re one of those kids that don't have a date and all you want is for that special person to be there, there will come a time when you’re at that dance and that slow song comes on and you don’t have a date and you’re perfectly content with that fact. You will wake up each morning happy to be single because you can focus on you finally. Independence is a hard thing to learn, but you will achieve it. So run with it.
Your friends are important, and they always will be. You’ll cherish the memories you make with them forever. They’re there for you, whether you feel like that or not, so don’t push them away. You’ll eventually grow apart, but in that time apart, you’ll both grow. You’ll learn more independence, and you’ll learn just how soothing silence can be. You’ll learn who you are, and you’ll meet new people, making new friends here and there. Embrace your smile.
You are in charge of your life--don’t forget that. And most of all: remember that you are loved.
Love,
Your Future Self
