Dear 2016,

How many expletives can I utilize to construct a sentence before the ladies in the front pew in church have a heart attack? Because I am starting to think that we all have a vendetta towards you at this point.

I’m about to sue you for emotional damages. Likewise, I’m about this close to starting a GoFundMe to gather enough money to wage a war against you in the coming year. Because, honestly, I need to defend my honor.

So my life turned into a complete telenovela within the year of 2016. And guess what? Yours probably did too! The soap opera of 2016 was one Spanish gasp right after another; I am almost surprised that I didn’t meet my evil twin in the whirlwind of it all. However, there is still time within the week for me to bump into my devilish doppelganger, so maybe I shouldn’t speak so soon.

I laughed when Kylie Jenner told us all that it was the year of realizing things. “It’s just a ploy to sell her lipsticks,” I said, “It’s all propaganda,” I said. Well, Kylie, I am sorry. You were right. You’re stronger than the rest of us. 2016 just confirmed to me that everyone is a liar, and you move up in the world by simply lying.

Trust no one. Moving on.

Needless to say, you taught me a lot these 365 sunny days, 2016. Both fortunate, and unfortunate. Both laughs, and cries. And out of these I would not change any of the hard times for the world.

I used to be really good at running away from my problems (ask my mother, Mona, if you need an example). I used to pack up my Hello Kitty backpack, tell my parents I was running away, and roll it down the driveway every single time I got into a fight with them. Mind you, I was six.

But because of all the yucky things you threw forth --both personally, and socially-- you taught me how to face the monsters I wanted to hide from. I could have been a track star with the running potential that I was given, but no, you had other plans.

And for that, I am grateful.

There was a lot of growing up to do, and a lot of responsibility assumed with that maturation. Like my car breaking down in the purgatory of San Tan and Queen Creek, and I was stuck with the car for an hour until a tow truck could make it there, for example. I was hungry, and Nicole had to pee, but hey, at least I learned responsibility.

And yeah, there will probably be even bigger pitfalls of greater ignorance, but at least I know that if I got through you, I can get through a lot more than I assumed I could.

2016, thank you for teaching me how to fight.

Thank you for teaching me how to be brave in the face of adversity. Thank you for teaching me how to scream at the top of my lungs, and still maintain my elegance. Thank you for inviting conflict into the room. Thank you for showing me another side; thank you for proving me wrong.

And thank you for teaching me compassion, and patience, even when I didn’t believe the other party deserved it.

For the curve balls, and unexpected obstacles, you helped me up without even realizing it, but I thank God that you’re over because I am almost certain that I am just about over you. If you were an ex, I'd ask you to delete my number; I'd block yours, and drop off your old cozy sweaters on your doorstep.

But I'd still thank you for the good times.

Cheers to a healthier, happier, and lovelier, new year.

Editor's note: As this article was being sent live, it was announced Carrie Fisher passed away. So long, 2016.