You have opened my eyes to a brand new world. Just knowing I have you puts my heart at ease. It fills my soul with love and gives me a reason to live.

Please know that this is true.

To know me, and I mean really know me, there's something else you need to understand:

There are some days that I just can't handle. Some storms that violently shake my body as if I were a toy in a dog's mouth. My squeaker has been removed. So no one hears my screams.

There are some days that I wish I did not exist. Some days that grab me by the arms and pull me into a false reality. They tell me everything will be better on the other side. I have never worked up the courage to test that theory. Or maybe it's the courage that keeps me here.

There are some days I wish it would all end. A stray bullet piercing through my head, or a car spinning out of control looking for a spot to hit., and my car has a big X on it. Anything to end the pain that so viciously chases me.

There are some days that I want to rip apart my skin to see if my strength is buried deep in my veins. As streaks of red begin to show, I soon realize I have been deceived. True strength lies in my ability to put down the knife. Sometimes, I forget that. Sometimes, I am weak.

So for all of these days, I am sorry. I am sorry that I forget that I am loved or doubt that I am cared about. I'm sorry that I make you feel as if you have no impact on my life. I'm sorry that I make you think you are not enough. I'm sorry for all of it. Because the truth is, without you, I'm not so sure there would be a me. You have become so much of who I am. Without you, I'd fall prey to those deceitful days every single time I woke up each morning. Until one day, I wouldn't wake up at all. Don't you realize, you have saved me?

I love you. You are everything to me.

So now I think of the days that lie ahead. I don't know where I'm going or who I'm going to be. I can see us so clearly:

A cute little house where our love will always grow.

A relationship that never gets old, but only gets stronger.

Waking up each morning beside each other.

Feeling safe in the warmth of your strong embrace.

Surrounded by animals as we lay our heads down each night.

A place of peace and comfort.

A home that is completely ours.

That is what I see.

I am not naive enough to believe that there will only ever be good days. Those bad days will always be around. I have accepted that. You can't change them. You can't rewire my brain and make me someone else. You can be there for me. You always are. That is enough. For the rest of our lives, that is enough.

You are mine. I am yours. Forever. I can't see it any other way.

You and me.