Dear Girl That Won't Let Go,
I'm about to say some harsh words, but just know that it is the truth, and it is coming from the heart.
You've probably been told time and time again that you can do better by your family, friends and even coworkers. People don't just speak to hear their own voice (unless they're Kanye West) so please, stop ignoring them because you think they're jealous or they don't "Know him like you do." Chances are, you don't even know him like you think.
Let me guess, you've been dating for two plus years, and there's just too much history there to let him go. I know you really, really love him! Trust me, I've been that girl.
Not to say he's cheating on you, because maybe he's not, but a guy doesn't have to be cheating on you to be a bad boyfriend. He could lack regard for your feelings, disrespect your family, physically harm you, mentally abuse you, or just forget you exist and not even give a shit when you cry. This isn't someone who actually cares about you, I'm sorry to say.
But guess what? You can leave! I know this sounds like the scariest statement and trust me I've been there. Even thinking of leaving him tears you apart inside. Of course you're aware you deserve better, but you know you can't leave him. Despite how sad he makes you, he also makes you insanely happy and leaving him for the bad times over the good doesn't seem right. But someone who ditches you when you make plans and/or puts you down when he claims to love you isn't someone mature or deserving enough to be in a relationship.
Whatever the reason, you don't need to feel like you'll be nothing without him. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you should stay with them. I promise you, the chances of you being the girl to "change him" are slim to none. Most people go through their own experiences to shape who they become. But in the meantime, you know who are and what you deserve, so why not go out and get it? Chances are that there are 10 other people will find you smart, beautiful, stylish, charming, funny, sophisticated, lovable and kindhearted. Wouldn't you give anything to have someone look into your eyes and know they wouldn't hurt you?
Realize that no matter who you are and what the circumstances are, you can LEAVE. Love does not mean sticking by someone's side who can't even be by yours. At that point, it's become a relationship that's one-sided and has nothing to do with love but instead, habit; staying with them out of habit and them putting up with you out of habit. Do yourself a favor and leave. Break up and have some time away whether just a month or indefinitely. Being single won't destroy you, in fact some of the most powerful, beautiful women I know are single because they know their worth and they refuse to settle.
So go out and get drunk. Have a GNO, dance on tables, kiss some strangers. You have your whole life to be old and only a few years to be young so live them while you can instead of getting stuck in an awful relationship at such a young age. Odds are you'll end up finding "the one" when you're not even looking for him, much like I have.
Love,
A Girl That's Been In Your Shoes
