Dear old friend,
Hi. How are you? How's your mom doing? Are your siblings OK? Is your Aunt Tina still sick? It's weird for me to look back and think about how close I was to you and your family. I felt like you guys took me in as one of your own. Now, I don't think I'm considered a member of the family. That's weird to think about. I can't just show up on Sunday nights, expecting open arms and a family meal. It's crazy what happens after a few months.
What happened between us? It all happened so fast that it feels like a blur. When I think of you, I see all of the hurt we inflicted on each other. That's awful, isn't it? We have so many memories together like prom, girls nights and vacations together. Yet, all I can see when I think of you is the end of our relationship. I guess they lied; friendship is a ship that sometimes does sink.
I can still remember the day I unfollowed you on Facebook. I was in class and I saw you post something with your boyfriend. I couldn't stand to see your timeline and everything you posted anymore. It all hurt too much. I cried over you so many times after we stopped being friends, but I couldn't bare unfriending you for good. This way, if I wanted to seek out what you were posting, I had to find the courage to do so.
Eventually, I did find the courage and now I creep on you like we're still best friends. I like seeing your life and seeing how you moved on. It makes me happy to see you happy. I'm glad that you found friends and are having the time of your life. Even though I'm not in it anymore, I'm glad you found people that can make you as happy as I did.
Sometimes, I have this urge to text you. I want to be back in your life and have the good times back. Sadly, just as fast as I come up with a reason to text you, I come up with 10 reasons not to text you. I have nightmares of you coming back into my life and hurting me again. I thought I could do anything for our friendship, but constantly being hurt is not one of them.
You show up on my Timehop every so often. Part of me laughs at our stupid Tweets to each other or our funny Facebook pictures that show how happy we were together. The other part of me dies knowing that we don't have that anymore. Having a best friend like you was one of my biggest blessings in life. I thought you thought the same way. I guess we both thought differently.
I want you to know that I still love and care about you just as much as I did when we were best friends. Things have changed and we both have moved on from this, but I still want you to succeed in life. I want nothing more than for you to get your dream job, travel the world and have the best life you can. I hope and pray that you have the life that you deserve. I wonder if you do the same to me.
I'll always be here for you, even if you don't think so. I'm still just a call away and will always be there for you when you need a friend. I made a promise to be your number one and even though things have changed, you're still my number one. I love you so much and I wish you all of the best in life.
