Hey kid.
Someone once asked me if there was anything in my life I'd change if I had the chance to do it all over again. After thinking it over, I realized the one thing I would want to change is you. I know what you're going through is hard. It hurts, it sucks, and it seems like it's never ending. But that's where you're wrong. It will end, and you'll come out stronger and more alive once it's all over and you're in a better place in life. So in light of that, here’s eight things I want you to know and take to heart, because I promise that things are going to get so much better. It's still going to hurt, but it'll be the type of pain you'll need to become better. You'll see soon enough. Anyways, here's that list.
1. Recognize that you are so much more than what you're going through.
Once again, I know it hurts, kid. There's a lot you're going right now and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But remember that these things don't reflect who you are or what you're worth, because you are worth so much more than you realize. You're going to do great things and help a lot of people. So remember on those nights, where you feel like nothing will ever be okay again, with the never ending flow of tears and rib-shattering sobs, that those vengeful little voices are wrong. One day, you'll be so strong that you'll silence those hateful, wrong voices. and a new voice will take their place, a voice that will help to encourage and push you onward. Those negative voices will one day fear what you've become. Watch for that moment. It'll be just as sweet as it sounds.
2. Grow a self-love that burns just as fiercely as you do.
Quit looking for an outside source to save you, because it's never going to come, and you already know that. So quit moping and become your own hero. Become your own best friend and ally, because high school is a shady place. Alliances and friendships shift in a heartbeat. Be careful of those who you call friends, because not all of them are.
3. Don't spend another moment with someone who makes you feel small or insignificant, because you are not either of those things.
You know who I'm talking about. Run. Run, and don't you dare look back. You have enough to deal with as is ,and you don't need that additional emotional turmoil to the mix.
4. Don't be afraid of letting the real you out.
Look to those you admire for being themselves. See how much happier they are they are? You need that same inner peace. Stop shoving yourself in boxes that you don't belong in, and never will. Stand out. The right ones will love you for it. You don't have time to keep what you love in the dark for those who don't understand it. Release that inner warrior/weirdo and be your happy-go-lucky self. Stand up to those who try to downsize you for their own personal comfort. Put that smart mouth of yours to work and quit silencing yourself.
5. Blast that music as loud as you can and kindle the fire it creates.
You know what I'm talking about. Once again, quit trying to fit into molds you don't belong in. You blast that "My Chemical Romance," "All Time Low," and "Fall Out Boy" as loud as you can and keep singing at the top of your lungs. Kindle that fire in your soul until it consumes you whole. Be as intense as you truly are. You were created that way for a reason.
6. Watch for the people who love you and cheer you on.
Look to your family. Look to your friends. Look to those who are the stars to your darkness and gravitate towards them. Let them remind you of the person you really are, not the one you think you are.
7. Wear the clothes you love and wear that eyeliner as thick as you want.
Kate, quit looking to others on how to dress yourself. Wear what makes you feel and look great. If you are not 110% sure of what you're wearing, don't wear it to school. Your education is your foundation. Don't let poor clothing choices distract you from that. Wake up early and give yourself the time you deserve. Get to know yourself and what makes you happy.
8. Do the things that make you whole.
Kate, please keep daydreaming and go after the things that make you happy. Join that journalism club. Finish that naming story you started junior year and grow it. On the bad days, harness that anger and rearrange your bedroom. Go clean the kitchen at three in the morning. You'll thank yourself for taking care of yourself. Don't forget that the end of the day, you're still the person who needs you the most. Take care of yourself.
I can keep listing things I wish you would have done, but chances are, you already know them. You knew the person you wanted to become. I see it whenever I think back to where you are. But kid, don't be afraid. Focus on what you can change and do it. I love you, and I know that despite all of this, you'll do great. Sure you’re going to screw up. A lot. But don't be afraid of that. Shake it off, rub some dirt on it, and repeat. In time, you'll become just as bulletproof as you always thought you'd be.
Until then,
Your Future Self.
