A Letter from the Girl Who Crashed her Car
Politics and Activism

A Letter from the Girl Who Crashed her Car

I am Thankful to be Alive

456
A Letter from the Girl Who Crashed her Car
Les Anderson

It’s weird how things happen. How instances that happen, can change you. They may not change you for forever, maybe they change you for an instant. Or maybe they change you for years. It’s just weird how things happen.

November 17th, of 2014 is when it changed for me.

Thinking back, I don’t know why I thought I could handle it. It was the first snow of the year, and I was 16. There were around four inches of snow on the ground. School should have been canceled. It wasn’t, I hated missing a day of school. I walked out the door so fearless. I was about a mile down the road when I started to begin feeling comfortable. The roads were still a disaster, it looked like they hadn't seen any rock salt since I was born, but I was feeling less anxious the closer I got to school.

It all changed in an instant. I found myself speeding up, I braked because I was scared. My mom always told me to pump the brakes if I can’t stop. I pumped the brakes. It didn’t matter. I was losing control. It felt like my heart stopped. I remember thinking “Oh God, I’m going to die.”

I am not a religious person, I believe in God, but I do not go to church every Sunday. At that moment I couldn’t even remember the last time I was in a church. I’ve never felt my life be ripped out of my hands so quickly. It’s weird, it’s like time froze. It felt like I was in the midst of crashing for 10 minutes before I actually crashed. I know that isn’t possible, but that’s what it felt like. It’s weird, and unless you’ve been in a major accident, you won’t understand. But, it felt like time stopped. It really felt like slow motion. It all happened so quickly to the outside world, but to me, it felt like a century.

My car ended up flipping twice. Policemen and witnesses say I should have been seriously injured, I’m still not sure how I crawled out of the car with only a few cuts and bruises. My airbag didn’t deploy, luckily. It would have most likely crushed me and made the situation a lot worse.

I am thankful to be alive.

Before all of this, I was never an anxious person. I lived my life without worries, as if I was invincible. Driving didn’t scare me, it’s an everyday thing. It’s weird developing anxiety. I felt it happening and I couldn’t stop it. All I knew, is that everytime I sat behind a steering wheel after that, it felt like my entire body was being crushed by waves, over and over again. I kept replaying the scene in my head, I was having terrible dreams that were worse than the reality. I became scared to go to sleep, the dreams I was having were awful, and repetitive. I suddenly was scared of this normal, everyday thing.

I thought I was a lost cause, I felt hopeless. I eventually “got back on the horse” and slowly retrained my brain to drive without panicking. One day, I woke up and decided to be in control of my life. I wasn’t going to let that awful day destroy me anymore.

It’s just weird how everything can change in an instant.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B just dropped the hottest summer single yet. It's called "WAP" and we're going to get into all the intoxicating lyrics.

This song empowers females and their sexuality. These women put the ridiculous music industry female beef to bed, and I mean tucked away in a coma.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How To Write Down The Holy Grail Recipe Everyone Begs You To Make

Because everyone has a signature cocktail, cake, or pasta they bring to every potluck.

NBC

From back when I used to bring my mom's classic white chocolate chip cookies to preschool on my birthday to now stirring up my signature tequila cocktails at every friends' barbecue, I've always had a couple of standby recipes in my culinary rotation.

Keep Reading... Show less
Adulting

Meet My Cat: Cheshire, The Stray Turned House Cat Who Lives in Michigan

I never considered myself a cat person, but Chess immediately stole my heart.

Madelyn Darbonne

In 2016, a stray cat gave birth to a litter of three grey kittens on my aunt and uncle's property. I had never considered myself to be much of a cat person, but these furballs immediately stole my heart. I got to watch them grow up until they were old enough to leave their mother's side.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How To Binge-Watch A TV Show —And Then Write A Review About It

Writing your favorite and least favorite things about a show could not be more fun.

Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

Looking for a new show to binge? Stop scrolling through your options and listen.

Sometimes a good show doesn't come down to the genre or the actors involved, it comes down to the fact that it is simply a GOOD show. If any of these things sound appealing to you, you should definitely watch.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been bleaching my hair since I was in seventh grade. Yes, you read that correctly, seventh grade. That's nearly 10 years of maintaining a very light shade of blonde that too-often brings about dryness and brittle strands.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chances are if you're here, you're probably interested in writing an open letter. Yay! We're excited to have you.

Of course, not all open letters are created equal. In fact, there's a recipe to writing one for Odyssey that'll get featured on one of our many verticals. When it comes to Swoon specifically (for those new around here, that's our dating and relationships vertical), we receive dozens of open letters each month, many of which are all very similar.

Keep Reading... Show less

With a new phone comes great responsibility: Do not break it! And the best way to do that is with a case. However, picking a case can be a challenge. No need to fret, I am here to help break down some of the best cases for the new iPhone SE 2020. Honestly, I think it's going to be impossible to choose!

Keep Reading... Show less

To some who have been out of the dating world for a while, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things after being single for some time. So, I asked 26 people what they think is important to know before looking for love again, here's what they had to say.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments