As I was having my morning coffee on the beach this past week, I began to think about all the things I would do differently in life. Don’t lie, we’ve all thought about it. Every once in a while, I find myself cringing with embarrassment at some of the things my younger self did. I do realize that I am where I am for a reason: God wants me here. But if I had the opportunity to write a letter to my younger college self, I believe this is how it would appear:
Hey you, sitting in your dorm crying because your parents just dropped you off in a town where you know a total of two people, everything is going to be okay! But I do have a few things to tell you that I wish you could understand..
First of all, for the love of all things holy, please focus on your grades.
You are SO much smarter than you think you are. I realize you aren’t blessed with natural ability of not having to study, but in the end, the hard work is what matters. People have truly underestimated you, I know, but rise above their petty opinions because you deserve to know the feeling of success! You truly need to understand that if you ever want to have anything in life, you have to work for it. Just like everyone else does. Although I am here to try and help, I also want to tell you that IT IS OKAY TO FAIL. Failing does not make you a failure. I know you have the mentality right now that if you don’t try for something that you won’t have to feel rejection, but rejection is better than regret, I assure you. You are talented and you will spend the rest of your life making other people feel better about themselves. Thrive on that quality! Stop overthinking every little detail of your life and just LIVE IT! Have the time of your life and go out more with your friends, you will miss it!
One major thing I have to tell you is STOP LETTING PEOPLE WALK ALL OVER YOU.
You are no ones door mat. When that same girl tests you, stand up for yourself because you are WORTH standing up for. You are caring WAY too much about what people think of you and although you may think so, few of these people will be around in the next stage of your life and guess what? That’s perfectly fine! Oh and a word of advice, rush! I know your are rushing right now and you are so excited! But when the time comes and you decide that it’s not for you, don’t beat yourself up about it. The one true friend you made from joining a sorority will be there for you ALWAYS!
There will come a time when you wonder why you don’t get as much love back as you are giving.. Later on in life, you will realize that love isn’t about giving to receive. So give all the love you’ve got. Oh and you’ll find that it’s the people who are the toughest to love sometimes that need it the most.
I know the next subject may be a little touchy for you, but I have to say it. You may think the love that you have for your boyfriend should come before the time you should be spending with your friends, but your best friend in college will be at your wedding, he will not. Oh and by the way, the love that you have for him doesn’t even compare to the love you will have for your future husband! (Who you know RIGHT NOW, I might add)
I realize you have been worried sick over whether you will be able to have kids or not, but the doctors are wrong! And I know you are now crying more than likely. Out of all the miracles this life will bring you, the miracle of having a child outweighs them all.
With that being said, You should spend some time alone! Really. Go get your nails done, go shopping, and learn to not be so reliant on others. You will wish you had spent more time with yourself later on.
On a lighter note, stop running out of gas. Just stop it right now. You will do this at LEAST 20 times. lol.
The last thing I want to talk to you about is a tough one. You still won’t know how to feel about this one for a while.. I know you think you hate where you come from, and trust me, you have good reasoning wanting to leave at this stage in your life, but you will be back. And secretly, there are even a few times when you wonder how you could have ever left. Like when you move back in with your parents and you feel at home for the first time in a long time.. Or each time you wrap your arms around your sisters neck. You’ll be back.
You are so much more than you think you are. You are loving, kind-hearted, and loyal. You have so much opportunity and life ahead of you. love with all you have and live life knowing you’re not here permanently.
Oh and Kaitlyn, the best is yet to come.
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, “plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
