This past week, a friend of mine lost her father, and I was at a loss for words because what can you say to someone who just lost their father? I'm still at a loss for words, but I decided to rely on my favorite form of communication and therapy to help me out: letters (even though this one isn't handwritten).
Dear Friend,
I can't imagine what you are going through right now, but I've felt plenty of the emotions and feelings that you're feeling right now. You're confused and lost. You're sad and numb. You feel like nothing is real and all you want to do is call him. Grief sucks. There's no other way to put it. It just sucks. Plain and simple. And I'm sorry you have to feel these awful feelings because they are the worst kind of feelings you can have. But you don't have to feel these feelings alone. You have such a large, strong support system that cares so deeply for you and would do anything for you (including a six-hour drive). You probably feel alone right now, and even though there's nothing I can do to take that feeling away, I hope you know that you are never truly alone. This was written in One Tree Hill and I think it explains things very well.
Grief is like the ocean: it's deep and dark and bigger than all of us. And pain is like a thief in the night. Quiet. Persistent. Unfair. Diminished by time and faith and love.
I know how much you love your Dad, and I know how much you miss him. I wish I could make your hurt and pain go away, but I can't. But I can be here to help you process your hurt and pain. I know we haven't talked in awhile, and I wish with all my heart that we could've reconnected under better circumstances. And since I'm such a big fan of One Tree Hill, I'll use a quote that helped me when I lost my Grandpa and then my Grandma.
And recognize that every day won’t be sunny, and when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair, remember it’s only in the black of night you see the stars. And those stars will lead you back home.
I'll stand by you until you find your words again and even after that. I'll send you cute pictures of my cat, stupid jokes, and anything else I can think of to make you smile. I'll be with you until you see the stars and until you find your way back home. I know home is going to be different now, but home is where the heart is, and your Dad may be physically gone, but he's never far away (as cheesy and cliche as that sounds).
Love,
Your Friend
