Hey there,
How have you been?
I hope well for I have never wished otherwise. I hope you're having a blast at college like you've wanted to all along. We always thought we would be with each other. Whether it was visiting each other on the weekends and going to parties, or face timing in our free time. Until you stabbed me right in the back with the cold dagger of betrayal.
I remember our friendship was pretty close to being perfect. We were always together, maybe that was the underlying problem all along. I remember the endless nights we spent doing what we did best; mischief and trouble making. The last period studies spent cleaning your car or running out to Dunkin'. But of course, nothing is ever as good as it seems.Our friendship didn't die out because of you. Id like to say neither of us were to blame. We both made mistakes in which we couldn't take back, thats normal. It just wasn't healthy anymore. But the way it ended was what slowly and constantly ate away at me for months.
The way you pushed and pushed and pushed me away when all I wanted to do was help you and be there was what ruined me. I knew that I could never treat anyone the way you did me. The way you made me feel was honestly so unbelievably cruel. The way you never stood up for me, not once. Even though I at one point i would say and do anything for you. It gave me trust issues and along with that more unbearable hardships. But I don't hate you, I won't let you feel that satisfaction. I can honestly in some way thank you for the pain you made me feel. For now I know how to stand up for myself. I let you walk all over me time and time again. But because of you; i realized that I had to be strong, that I am my own person who can make her own decisions.
I remember hearing from people how you'd told them that you'd, "never even liked me". After all I had done for you. After living with the false accusation of being "family". I felt abandoned. But that was for the best. The friends you drove away from me, eventually came back into my life because they knew how you were over dramatic. They apologized, but you never could. Not even once. You caused me to have what I call today the worst year I've ever had, but from then on it all got better. I realized that once you were out of sight and out of my life.. I could be happy. I could be myself.
Im not that same quiet voiceless fool you once knew, but a strong hearted confident woman. Ive seen you once or twice since we fell out of peace. The smiles that we share with each other may be meaningless and fake. But I'll never hate you. I wish you all the luck in the world, I really do. You may have hurt me time and time again. But just know, you mean nothing to me now. You may read this, so just know, I will never forget our good times, but along with the good come the bad.
P.S: Your knife will forever be wedged in my back.
Best of luck,
your Ex-Best-Friend.
