To My Boyfriend, Thanks For Riding The Rollercoaster Of Our Relationship With Me For The Past 3 Years

To My Boyfriend, Thanks For Riding The Rollercoaster Of Our Relationship With Me For The Past 3 Years

Dear Jesse, I love you.

Some people don't believe in love at first sight. Others think that there is always love in the air. What did I think? Well, I didn't know what love was. In high school, I was in two relationships where I am pretty sure, looking back, I was in love with the idea of love.

Both relationships seemed like they were going to last forever, and I marveled at that fact. However, of course, they didn't last forever. But, I'm glad they didn't. You know why? Because now I am with the guy that I know for a fact I love.

I finally realized what love was. I remember it being a warm feeling that overtook me when he smiled at me for the first time. Now, on March 5th, we will be celebrating our 3 year anniversary and I couldn't be happier. Time to take a trip down memory lane.

I was a senior in high school, he was a junior. We went to completely different high schools but God still brought us together through working at Chuck E. Cheese. I remember the first day he started; I wasn't going to talk to him because why would I? I didn't have a reason to talk to him. . . until I found one. I needed to trade shifts with someone and he was the first person I thought of.

I walked up to him and asked if he would like to switch with me because I had a band event. He proceeded to ask me what kind of band. It didn't even occur to me that he was thinking of an actual garage band so when I said orchestral, I was a little offended when he laughed at me. However, he said he would "think about it" and he asked for my number so he could let me know.

Little did I know, that me giving him my number was all a ploy just so he could have it. That was his "smooth" way of getting my number and looking back, I think that was the most genius way to get a girl's number. Kudos to you babe. That was the day it started.

We hung out with each other for a while after that and it wasn't until two months later that we went on an actual date and it was honestly one of the best nights I have ever had. A month after that, he officially asked me to be his girlfriend and we have been together ever since.

Fast forwarding to present time: We now live together in a studio here in Phoenix and I attend college while he works full time. I couldn't think of a better life. So what, if we are living together before we are even married? I think it is better this way so you can get to know the person better.

With our 3 year anniversary here, I just wanted to let everyone know how much I love and appreciate this boy, so here it goes. Here comes the heartwarming open letter.

Dear Jesse,

These past three years with you have been the best of my life. You have opened my life to a whole new perspective that I didn't even think about living before. You have taken me on so many crazy adventures, opened my ears to new genres of music, and allowed me to blossom into the person I was meant to be.

I am glad God brought you into my life because now that I have you, I don't know what I would have been doing with my life without you. You have given me so many memories that I will never forget and I look forward to the many more memories I know we will make together.

We have been on such a rollercoaster ride together, especially with our relationship being long distance for two years, but I am so glad that we rode it together and got through it. I'm glad you found me. I'm glad that you are the one I get to argue/debate about superheroes with, go to festivals and concerts with, and ultimately get to go home to.

You have always been there when I needed you and you have loved me better than anyone I have ever known. For that, I thank you. I assure you that you're stuck with me forever and maybe this may be too early for some people, but I am already waiting for the day you put a ring on my finger. I love you!



Cover Image Credit: Samantha Hansen

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved

To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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'Someone Great' Captures The Fears Of Falling In Love In 2019

Ugly cries whole movie


Being a young adult dating in 2019 is kinda scary, from swiping on Tinder to eyeing the cute boy in class there are so many unspoken rules. People have become so scared of not only rejection but the possibility of a real relationship. Young adults fear intimacy and the vulnerability that comes with being in love.

In Someone Great directed by Jennifer Kaytin Robinson viewers are introduced to Jenny, Erin, and Blair. Three best friends navigating through love in their own ways. The plot centers around Jenny, played by Gina Rodriguez, and the ending of her nine year relationship. YES, nine years. That is a looooong time, like I can barely commit to buying a succulent. In those nine years she and her love interest Nate, played by Lakeith Stanfield, fall in love over Chinese food, walks in the park, and genuine support of each other. So what's the flaw in their relationship?

Well, Jenny says it best, "I guess sometimes things don't break, they shatter, but when you let the light in, shattered glass will glitter." Their relationship wasn't perfect but it was real and unfiltered. Their relationship didn't end because of one big thing, but a bunch of little things, but their time together wasn't a mistake. I think their relationship is what young adults fear the most, loving someone so deeply but not having it work out. We as a generation need to stop fearing love and start seeing the beauty in it again, even if it isn't meant to last forever.


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