Dear ex- whatever you are,
I used to wait all week for your one "wyd" text. I used to sit around and wonder what you were up to and if you were thinking about me, too. I've come to the conclusion that you weren't. The year I spent staying up for you, letting you come and go as you pleased, really made me think we were something. However, we were nothing more than late nights, whispered conversations, and kisses that didn't last long enough.
I didn't know for a long time that not every love has to turn into a great love. I don't even think I loved you, but I know I would have done anything for you. We weren't something out of a Nicholas Sparks movie where the boy and girl don't want to date in the beginning, but eventually fall in love forever. We were just a girl with big dreams and a bigger heart, and a tall boy with good hair and brown eyes and no intention of ever turning our fling into a relationship.
I'm not waiting anymore, though. I'm not waiting on you or anyone. I don't want people in my life who need the weekend or 11 p.m. for me to become worth their time. I should not have been okay with the way you treated me. The more I fell for you, the more insecure it made me, because I think I knew you never liked me as much as I liked you. Every time you didn't text back, call when you said you would, or I saw you in public with someone that wasn't me, it made me crazy. I don't think you're a bad person. I just think that you had no plans of turning me into a big part of your life.
I deserve someone who takes me on dates and knows my favorite songs. I deserve someone who texts me at noon to see how my day went, and invites me to lunch with his friends. I deserve someone who makes me feel wanted, and with you I always felt sad because I didn't know I was deserving of any of those things. I thought you were the best I was ever going to get, and I can't believe how wrong I was.
Thank you so much for showing me what it looks and feels like when someone doesn't actually care about you. Thank you for being an example of the perfectly wrong person for me. You are a story I will tell forever: The boy who thought I wasn't good enough to date. One day (or night at around 12:30), when you think about me, and wonder where I am, please don't ask me what I'm up to, or how I've been. Just know that wherever I am, or whatever I am doing, I was always deserving of better than the way I let you treat me.
Sincerely,
The girl you used to call "babe"
