Whenever I tell someone that I'm adopted, they almost always apologize to me instantly.
"Oh my God, I have no idea! I'm so sorry! That must really suck!"
"Why are you sorry?"
"Well... cause you're adopted."
"And???"
Silence.
Never once in my life have I ever felt a sense of resentment towards my birth mom for giving me up for adoption. She knew that my best chance at life was with another family who was ready for kids and was able to financially and emotionally support me. If anything, I am nothing but thankful that my birth mom made that impossible decision so that I would have the best life possible.
And to answer your next question, yes, I do know my birth family and I actually have an amazing relationship with them. In fact, my birth mom is one of my best friends.
You can catch my birth mom and I going to concerts together every year, you can see me spending holidays with my birth family, going to birthday parties for my cousins and spending time playing with my half-sister. Adoption has allowed me to gain twice the family I would have had otherwise, and I am so thankful.
There is no law that says you have to let the kid that you gave up for adoption into your life. There is no moral code that says you have to send them presents on their birthday or write them letters, but every year of my life, my family has done just that.
There are so many examples of kids who search forever to try to find their birth families, to try to find any sort of recognition or resemblance to a family that is long gone (that's actually how a friendship started with one of my best friends). But this amazing family kept in contact with me and treats me just as they do anyone else.
Another huge part of this is my amazing parents too, who never once tried to hide the fact that I am adopted and that there is nothing wrong with that in the slightest. If anything, it's a blessing at the minimum.
I have been awarded so many opportunities and so much love from my birth family. Whether that be weekend trips to the zoo, standing in the rain so that I can see my favorite animals or countless concerts and a place to crash. Showing up at football games to watch me throw a flag around or driving hours to watch me compete in winter guard competitions. Sending me words of encouragement when I'm feeling down or taking me out for dinner when they know that I'm stressed and haven't been eating well.
They didn't need to do any of these things. They could have done what millions of other birth families do and disappear in a pile of court documents and legal proceedings. My parents could have never told me that I am adopted and hid them from my life. There are so many different variables that I could put in here that could change the course of my life entirely.
They didn't have to let me into their families. They didn't have to invite me to all of the holiday parties or even write me letters or speak my name, but God has blessed me with the best birth family that I could have ever asked for, and I thank all Gods, lucky stars, and all of my guardian angels daily for the family I know and love.
They have taught me so much, from life lessons to the idea that "He who hesitates, starves." You guys are such a huge part of who I am and I am so thankful to be a part of the amazing Ohlemacher family.
