As a soon to be graduating college senior, I can honestly say that my college experience was nothing like I was expecting. My pre-college self had plans of partying every other night and having the best four years of my life, but my anxiety disorder, fear, and a major dose of reality changed these plans. Throughout all the breakdowns, the almost quitting, and the pain, I truly know I am stronger for having stuck it out. There were times I seriously thought I couldn’t be away from home one moment longer, but I am writing this with just a few months of school left. I am writing so close to my graduation. I am writing this to tell you that college is possible, even with an anxious mind.

So to the freshman who thinks college is impossible, to the sophomore who is ready to give up, and to anyone who is struggling with anxiety, this is what I want you to know.

Dear Anxious Student,

I'm sorry you are scared. I'm sorry I can't make the fear go away or the bad thoughts from entering your head. I'm sorry your mind is restless.

I know I can't understand your exact situation, but believe me when I say that you are truthfully not alone. I know how impossible that seems. Even when I knew my mind was playing tricks on me, when I knew I was being irrational, a part of me still feared that this dark feeling of loneliness was never going away. Sometimes it is hard just to out of bed. I let anxiety invite depression in, and before I know it, I'm in a black hole of sorrow.

When I look back at all of my panic attacks, I can't believe I got through them. What I hold on to is the feeling of knowing I am OK. The panic attack is awful, but once the anxiety passes and you have a moment of calm, it's pure bliss. You realize that you will get through this bad test score, you will be home again, and tomorrow really could be better than today.

Know that the calm will come. With every anxiety attack or moment of fear comes relief. Even if it is an hour later, a day later, or a week later, the anxiety will pass.

Find what you need to get through the fear. Whether it be someone to talk to, a book to read, or a show to watch, hold on and fight your anxious thoughts.

And if the thoughts win, know that it is OK to get help. As hard as it to tell someone you're struggling, I promise they will want to help. I have never regretted going to counselor, even the ones that didn't seem as helpful still helped me progress in my journey.

I don't want others to go through what I went though in college. On my bad days, it seems as though college was four years of struggling with anxiety. But it should be so much more than that.

I look back at my mistakes, and I don't regret anything. I've become a stronger person, and for that I'm thankful. College is tough, especially when you already have natural anxiety. But with strength, hope and hard work, you can do this.

So hold on to hope, hold on to the future, and hold on to the good days.

Love,

Someone in your shoes