To a blissfully innocent 7-year-old,

Hey there, sweetie. It's me. I know right now you probably wish you were kicking a soccer ball in the backyard or reading a fantastic book in your Pooh Bear-themed room, but I have some really important things to talk about with you. Yeah, I know you desperately want to find out whether Harry, Ron, and Hermione survive another year of Hogwarts, but this letter means a lot to me, so please, press pause on your wonderfully innocent life for a couple minutes.

There's so much I want to tell you, both good and bad.

I want to tell you the name of anyone who is ever going to hurt you so you'll know to keep your distance. I want to tell you which boys have cooties so you never feel the disappointment that accompanies having a crush on the wrong one, and I want to help you steer clear of the girls who you'll never fit in with.

I want to tell you which names to remember because those friends will always be there for you. I want to point out the truly wonderful days, so you savor them and appreciate those moments.

I want to prevent your heart from ever feeling pain. I wish I could make it so you would only experience love and happiness, but I won't do that to you. I won't do that to you, because you're going to become a really strong woman once you deal with everyone else's crap (shh, don't tell Mommy that I used a bad word!).

I'm not going to warn you away from pain. Pain helps you grow. It teaches you empathy and compassion--two things which you should always look for in future friends. I would never deprive you of the many lessons you're going to learn. That's life, and you need to experience both the good and the bad in order to grow into the fabulous woman you'll one day be.

However, there are a few things I want to remind you of for when the road ahead of you gets tough.

So, here goes:

I'm sorry to tell you this, kiddo, but your life isn't always going to be piggyback rides with Daddy or Saturday night sleepovers with Nana. Some day soon it's going to be playing alone during recess. It's going to be Saturday nights sitting at home while the other kids are out drinking kool-aid.* It's going to be wondering why you don't look as skinny as the other girls you know.

I promise you, it's not always going to be like that. Life is going to be a roller coaster. There are going to be many ups and downs. Sometimes, it's going to feel like you're ascending a mountain and success is within your grasp. Occasionally, you'll experience a moment where you think you're on top of the world. Those are the moments you should cherish.

Unfortunately, as you'll learn in freshman year physics, what goes up must eventually come down. You're going to live through moments where you're falling so hard and so fast, you won't be able to tell which way is up or when this descent is going to end. There will be times you think you're ascending, but it's really just a trick before you get over the top of the hill. Life, like a roller coaster, plays tricks on you, but the key is to remember the exhilarating moments and appreciate how the pitfalls made you appreciate those times of wonderment and success even more than you would have before.

I wish I could spare you from those pitfalls, love. I do. But I can't. Instead, I want to tell you some things that took me a while to realize. I think it'll make growing up a little easier to bear, though not much.

First of all, please know that kids are mean. They say hurtful things that they don't understand, and they'll crush your feelings and not give it a second thought. Please don't take their words to heart. It's going to feel terrible. You're going to cry and that's okay. Those other kids on the playground don't know you. They might think they do, but going to school for seven hours a day together doesn't mean they know anything about you. They don't know your wondrous imagination. They don't appreciate your boisterous laugh. They don't get to experience your magical hugs. Their words are going to hurt, but in the end, honey, their words aren't going to matter.

Then, when the kids grow up a little and become teenagers, they only get worse. Now, they understand what they're saying, they've just been taught not to care how their words affect people. Small insults become rumors. Gossip is no longer about who gave whom a ring during lunchtime. Instead it's about who made out with whom at the party last weekend, and it includes much nastier name-calling than you can ever imagine. Now that you've been in the same school for year after year, everyone will think they know you inside and out. They'll hear your name and think they can put you into some generic label that would never encompass all that you are. They'll see you in the hall and not-so-covertly laugh at how awkward you look. Luckily, or unluckily for them, they still don't know you. They don't know your dreams. They've never seen you tear up. They've never been graced with your 1000 watt smile. They know your name, but not the girl behind it.

Secondly, you're going to feel an unbelievable amount of pressure to look a certain way. When you look in the mirror you're going to wish you had more defined cheekbones, a bigger tush (as Nana would so lovingly call it), and, most of all, you'll wish you looked as skinny as some of the people you call friends. You'll spend hours doing your makeup, only to feel insecure about the amount you've put on. You'll try to pull off clothing styles that just don't work with your body type, and you'll blame yourself when you don't look the way you wish. People are going to say rude things that will make you dislike the way you look, but, let me tell you, anyone who doesn't see the beauty inside you should make an appointment with the optometrist.

Sometimes, you're going to wish you were different. You'll consider how nice it might be to trade your brains for the ability to converse easily with guys. You might want to exchange your faithfulness for a fun weekend where you ditch your responsibilities. One day, you'll realize how ridiculous those thoughts were, I swear.

Third, you're going to spend hours figuring out what the right thing to do is. You're going to have to choose what kind of girl you want to be. At times, you might want to be the girl who goes out and drinks kool-aid* even though she told her parents she was at her best friend's house. Occasionally, you'll consider being the girl who takes the easy road. When you finally realize that those girls aren't you, you'll be disappointed in all the things you're missing out on, but you'll also secretly be relieved.

Fourth, there will be times where you question everyone and everything. You'll hesitate to trust people. You'll close yourself off so that no one has the chance to hurt you. You'll have a past that no one knows about. You'll have secrets and regrets.

Lastly, life isn't going to be easy. When life gives you lemons, no one teaches you how to make lemonade. You have to experiment and make plenty of sour batches before you finally figure out how to craft that perfect pitcher of deliciousness.

My brassy little beauty, how I wish all that were not true. Unfortunately, it's all going to be a part of your life, and no warning from me will protect you. But there are a few things that I want to tell you before you grow up and deal with everything the world is going to throw at you.

1. Choose your words with care

The idea that words will never hurt you is idiotic. You're going to experience so many moments where words will pierce your heart with more force than any stick or stone ever could. You'll want to cry, but you won't want to give those bullies the satisfaction. Be better than them. Your words will affect the people around you, be it in a positive manner or a negative one. Learn from my mistakes. Think before you speak. While I know you enjoy the sound of your own voice, it will pay off to listen more than you contribute. You never know who can hear what you say. Also, be cautious with your actions and body language. Communication isn't just verbal. An eye roll or a snarky smirk can be just as hurtful as a nasty name or sarcastic barb.

2. It's okay to cry

Crying doesn't make you weak. It's okay to not be okay. I understand that you're not going to want anyone to see your pain, whether out of fear for yourself or a desire to protect the people you care about. However, you deserve to be human, to be vulnerable, and to be comforted. Let other people in. Let them love you and let them comfort you.

3. Some people leave, but others stay

You're going to lose friends. You're going to trust the wrong people. Don't let those experiences change how you relate to those around you. Don't shut everyone out. Yes, the chance of getting hurt is out there, but if you don't learn who you shouldn't trust, then, you'll never be able to see how obvious it is when you've found people who deserve your friendship.

4. You are so much more beautiful than you will ever realize

Don't listen to anyone who says you aren't a gorgeous girl. It's true, you aren't a textbook beauty. You probably never will be and that's okay. You don't have a perfectly symmetrical face, nor do you have the type of body that will ever be considered petite. While you may not have the perfect features, this does not make you one iota less beautiful than any other woman in the world. There are so many different types of beauty. On the days where you look in the mirror and feel a twinge of disappointment, laugh out loud while looking at yourself. That laugh, that freedom and pure happiness, will never stop being breathtaking. That smile you love to give out, it's stunning. If you're feeling down about your looks, don't be afraid to put on that killer black dress. You look damn beautiful (excuse my language), and it's impossible to look at yourself and not know that. You won't feel beautiful everyday, but you will exude beauty everyday, most of the time without knowing it. You don't need to be skinny or perfectly coiffed to be beautiful. Never ever forget that.

5. Don't rush to grow up

I know, I know. You're only seven and you've already heard this a million times, but it's still some of the best advice you'll receive. Trust me, little girl, the kool-aid* and the make-outs will still be there once you've figured out who you are. Take your time to decide what kind of girl you want to be. You'll be much happier with how you turned out if you give yourself the time to grow up instead of rushing ahead when you're barely mature enough to see PG-13 movies.

6. Learn to love yourself in spite of your faults

You, my dear, are far from perfect. You have many faults and I can 100% guarantee you still won't recognize most of them by the time you are in college. Despite these faults, there are so many wonderful things about you. When times become tough and you wish you were different, remember the astounding aspects of your personality. People always pinpoint each others weaknesses and failings, but I beg you not to get caught up in that depressing pastime. You may not always possess the qualities you most desire, but accepting your failings so you can play up your strengths is a part of life. You have so much to offer and so little time to show the world how incredible you are. Don't waste your precious life worrying about the things you can't change. Work to improve and remember to love yourself through everything life sends your way.

If I've learned anything in the 12 years that separate the two of us, the most important lesson would be that Stephen Chbosky was so very correct when he wrote, "We accept the love we think we deserve."

If I leave you with anything, be it this.

You deserve the type of love that fills not only your heart, but also your soul. It should fill you to the brim. It should make your life seem fuller. The days should seem longer and the weeks shorter. Your smiles should come with ease, even sometimes without your knowledge. Laughter should always be on the tip of your tongue.

You deserve the kind of love that makes life easier to bear, even when the problems I mentioned above get in the way.

You deserve the strongest, most pure love that's possible to find. When you stumble across it, don't let it escape. Grab on and maintain your grip. Love is wild. It's exhilarating and exhausting, freeing and fun, terrific and terrifying. Even if you don't think you'll be able to recognize it, I promise you will.

We accept the love we think we deserve, and you deserve nothing less than the very best.

With Love,

The older and slightly wiser, version of you.

*ask mommy what this really means in about 6 years