I recently finished a weekly program focused on talking about sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape within the fraternity realm, entitled The Ethos Program. The seven meetings were run by Matt Barry, a counselor at WPI's Student Development and Counseling Center(SDCC) and dear mentor, and Ken McPherson, a brother of WPI's Sigma Phi Epsilon and role model for many students, including myself. This article won't go into the exact detail of the program, nor will it touch upon all topics within the program (if you want to learn more, I would apply to participate in the program or join an organization, like Spark). However, this article will hopefully be the starting point of a movement to alleviate some of the stigma's when it comes to talking about such topics.

A few points on the article: I am going to try to be gender neutral in this article, sex is both a male and female activity and both sexes express different ranges of sexual preference and activity. Similarly, the vernacular we use to describe each other when it comes to sexual activity will be avoided as to not promote the use of words. Finally, I won't being going into the area of consent in this article. If you need a refresher on the importance of consent you can read my other article hereor watch this amazing video by Blue Seat Studies:

So let's get started.

When discussing topics like sex, it is best to be honest with yourself. You are not competing with others when it comes to sex. The idea that you have to experience many partners to be cool is a fallacy that should leave common expression immediately. Just because someone has more sex than you doesn't make you nor them a greater or lesser person. This whole idea that men who have large amounts of sex are champions and females who have large amounts of sex are promiscuous is absolutely ridiculous and needs to be extinguished. Nor is a male or female who reserves themselves weak or prude. We don't need to be shaming someone because of their sexual activity. So let's agree to try and not promote these types of behaviors.

A large amount of the stigma that sex is dirty or shouldn't be expressed is from our upbringing. School, religious programs, and parents can be poor at openly expressing sex. You're taught that it is an adult activity and that people do it when they are in love, or after they're married, or for money, or you are taught nothing. What I am getting at is that the discussion of sex varies so much growing up, it's hard to honestly understand everything that encompasses a healthy sexual experience. Therefore, when growing up in the age when sex is more readily encountered, it's awkward and difficult to talk about it when it really shouldn't be.

You see, sex has a range. Some people want a truly intimate connection with someone before participating in sexual activities, which is fine and should be respected by everyone. Others would rather not have the intimate connection, which doesn't make them a bad person if the other party is also a consenting adult. I would just be careful not to hurt anyone's feelings if you fall into the latter category.

Sex will never be as easy to talk about openly. There are always reservations about opening up and expressing yourself. Hopefully this article has at least gotten you thinking about the topic of sex. Who knows, maybe we can be the change we want to see in the world.