What's the deal with FOMO?
FOMO is the acronym for "Fear Of Missing Out." Whether that be feeling left out of plans with some friends or overcommitting to things so you end up being involved in everything, everyone deals with FOMO. Some more than others and in different ways, but when it all boils down, no one wants to miss out on anything.
FOMO was the topic of discussion at this week's KSU The Real Movement's hangout. (Side note: Check out TRM. It's pretty much the coolest thing since sliced bread.) We discussed FOMO in such a way that it made me realize I'm not the only person who struggles with it. Everyone might deal with it in a different way, but we're all on the struggle bus together.
The entire issue with FOMO comes from us not being comfortable with who we are: just ourselves. Projecting that insecurity of "I'm not totally comfortable in who I am" makes us seem weak. Everyone wants to seem like they're always on top of the world and like nothing is ever wrong with them.
I think that as a whole, this generation is uncomfortable with being alone; alone in the sense of spending time with yourself and learning things about you. That scares the crap out of people. They think, "I need to not be by myself so that I'm not thinking about everything that I'm dealing with." They're afraid that if they spend too much time alone, they're going to find out something about themselves that they don't really like. PSA: being alone isn't a bad thing. There's a difference between being alone and being lonely.
I see a whole lot of FOMO in dating nowadays. No one wants to commit because they want to keep their options open. It's like we think, "Yeah, I like this guy, but I don't want to put a label on us because what if that really cute guy from my history class texts me and tells me he likes me?" Why are we so afraid to say no to all the options and stick with just one person?
Social media fuels FOMO more than anything. How many times have you been scrolling through Instagram and you see someone on a sweet vacation or someone with their significant other, or friends hanging out at a place where you weren't invited? It stings a little bit. It makes you want to post something that says "Look at me, look at what I'm doing. Are you jealous yet?" And it makes us feel better! It makes us feel like we have the upper hand and like we have control of who sees it and who doesn't. In reality, social media isn't real. As Marty raps in "The One About the Misfit," "Instagram isn't real, it's just highlights." Do we really get jealous of the highlights? Of the cropped picture? We see what people want us to see, not the mess behind the beauty.
Why does it bother us? Why do we let some post or forgotten-on-purpose invite eat away at us? It's because we all want to feel loved. We all want to be in the inner circle, to know all the inside jokes everyone's laughing at, and to have those memories. Everyone wants to feel loved and accepted, which is why we fear when we miss out on an opportunity to make us feel loved.
I challenge you to fight your FOMO. The next time you feel it, put your phone down or close your computer. Spend some time with you. Find your acceptance and worth in something that makes you happy. Remember, if you're not comfortable with yourself, you'll never be comfortable with anyone else.
