Failure is such a dirty word. It is something we avoid with all our will, even if that means shying away from risk or opportunity. Yet, I disagree with this negative connotation. Sure, it never feels particularly good when one falls short of expectations, but there is more to the story than this. The late Robert F. Kennedy offered some great wisdom when he said, “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”
I am no stranger to failure. Despite this, at one point in my life, failure would have destroyed me. I have always been my very harshest critic. Anything less than an A was unsatisfactory to me. Anything less than being a starter on the ice or field was mediocre to me. Anything less than perfection was a disappointment. This is an extremely unhealthy way to approach life. Moreover, it is exhausting expecting so much from oneself. It eventually took both a physical and mental toll on me, leaving me once again frustrated with myself. This destructive cycle continued throughout my teenage years. It was not until I came to grips with this obsessive behavior that I truly began to understand the importance of failure.
My ultimate collapse came as a freshman in college at the University of Michigan. The striving for acceptance and excellence finally caught up with me, and my body could take no more. Severe anxiety attacks filled my brief three weeks as a student in the LSA Honors Program. Coming home, I was hit by a wave of crippling depression. Everything seemed so unfair. How did all my hard work culminate with such utter failure? Slowly, I came out of my "pity pot," as my parents so conveniently coined, and came to realize that so much good could come out of my situation.
This is the thing about failure — as one door closes, another one opens. We all fail at some point in our lives. It is a natural part of the lifecycle, and that is okay! If I had not failed with my health, I would never have acquired the deeper answers that opened up my life to possibilities. If I had not failed at Michigan, I would never have found Hope College.
I continue to struggle with failure in my everyday life. Whether it is rejection from some group or less than satisfactory exam grades, it is always going to require a conscious effort not to put myself down. It is so easy to fall into a trap of disappointment, but the more challenging alternative of pulling oneself out is far more rewarding. Accept the failure and move on! We should never let our failures define us, nor should we fear their occurrence. As human beings, we are imperfect. Failure can open doors to lead us down remarkable paths that we never considered. Maybe failure isn't such a dirty word after all.
