Let's Talk About Boundaries
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Relationships

Let's Talk About Boundaries

Everyone has them, everyone should respect them.

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Let's Talk About Boundaries

Recently I was going through a lot, I would consider myself fairly vocal when I need something. I asked everyone I knew to give me space for a while. There wasn't a set time or date for when I'd not want so much space, I am actually still in the middle of it, but I very explicitly communicated that I did not want any contact of any form.

The second I had let everyone know, I got tons of responses stating that if I wanted to talk I could go to them or that I shouldn't shut people out. This was expected, I knew people would respond questioning and peering into my life to find out why and see if I was okay. It was sweet, but I asked for the exact opposite. The next day I responded to everyone declining their offers and insisting on the space I had requested. They fought it again.

I needed space to think and breathe for a moment, when people refused to listen to what I had requested, everything felt tight and like it was closing in, it was hard to breathe. People did what they would want if they asked for space, they want someone to check in and someone to talk to, so they tried to force it on me. It hurt me in the long run.

I started to gain a resentment towards everyone, not just people who reached out. It pushed me further away than when This had all started. I stated a boundary I have, and it was broken, as a result, I felt hurt and disrespected. You see, responding to a situation with how you'd want to be treated and ignoring what that person is saying is and will always be wrong.

Listen to people when they say what they want or need and give them that. You aren't in the person's shoes to decide for them what is in fact best for them, you can't just override their choices. If it isn't something that harms them or anyone else and it simply is just something you wouldn't do, you don't have the right to take that away from someone.

Boundaries are crossed very often and we tend to not think about how damaging that is for a person. Feeling ignored and invisible will just add to the problem. Even if you consider the thing to be quite small, like a friend not liking mushrooms, putting them into every meal you both eat trying to trick them into liking them would just cause distrust and dislike towards you. You liking mushrooms doesn't translate into everyone has to like mushrooms. If they don't want them, that doesn't stop you from eating mushrooms. This applies to everything. Be courteous of others and take into account how your actions can affect them, even in jest.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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