For thousands of years, humans have had the powerful desire to express themselves through body ornamentation. This expression of self can manifest through tattoos, body painting, makeup, piercings, jewelry, clothing, hairstyles, and much more. Body ornamentation varies from culture to culture and although it gives individuals the opportunity to display their distinctiveness, it usually conforms to what the general population deems socially acceptable. Everyone has their own opinions and aesthetics, but it has become all too common to judge others because they choose to express themselves a little more vibrantly and loudly than society’s standards.
What we all need to get through our thick skulls is that it is none of our business what others choose to do with their bodies. We can only decide what to do with our own. Perhaps you have decided that someone you know wears too much makeup or has too many tattoos and it really bothers you. Why? Most likely, this person does not wear makeup or obtain permanent body art for your benefit or anyone else’s. They made these choices of self-expression because it genuinely makes them feel beautiful and good about themselves. It is not our place to suggest people are choosing to express themselves incorrectly or that their idea of beauty is wrong.
We live in a society fueled by capricious fads and a never-ending cycle of social comparison. We become aware of trends and try to fit in by adjusting our style through self-enhancement. First, we compare ourselves to others because whether we realize it or not, it is all a competition. Next, we either decide that our looks and behavior are superior, leading to high self-esteem, or we feel like garbage in contrast. If the latter occurs, we assess ourselves, make changes, and compare ourselves again to boost our low self-esteems. If the former ensues, it doesn’t matter that you momentarily felt grandiose because you will be critiquing yourself again really soon. A lot of people do not consciously realize that this cycle exists. Constant comparison is extremely exhausting and horrible for everyone, but it is a habitual action you can overcome with hard work and the avoidance of self-judgment.
During my first year of college, I read an interview online featuring my role model, Shailene Woodley. She brought my attention to the vicious cycle of social comparison and the importance of being kind to yourself. Her words made a lasting impact on me and influenced my decision to make personal lifestyle changes. One of the changes was to stop wearing makeup, aside from the eye area, and I have not for about five years. When I had constantly compared myself to others, wearing makeup felt like an obligation to be beautiful and I was generally unhappy with my appearance. I decided I did not want to participate in the constant judgment of others or myself. My choice was not based on brevity or because I was in opposition to people who made makeup part of their daily routine. To be honest, my skin is extremely sensitive and my face feels and looks a million times better without it. I would also rather sleep the extra 10 minutes and save my money for a good book instead of cosmetics. My bare face makes me feel good about myself and I have been immensely happier since I stopped caring what others think.
To be completely comfortable with your self-expression, you must first stop judging others. Remind yourself that the way others choose to adorn themselves is of no concern to you. Acknowledge your opinions about their body ornamentation, but try to keep negativity out of your thoughts. You will begin to judge others less frequently and finally be able to focus on what makes you feel good. Once you have stopped comparing yourself to others, you will realize that your new mindset does not only apply to your appearance, but it will percolate into other aspects of your life. For example, you might stop caring how your dancing is perceived in public because you no longer compare or give attention to how others dance. The things that make you most self-conscious will begin to fade away.
