The moment it hit you. An ache in your heart that you had never known before. Sure, you'd been hurt before -- had more break ups than you'd like to admit. This was different. It took you off your feet like a linebacker tackling a quarterback. A moment in time you so desperately didn't want to ever have. The thought of being alone was deafening and the feeling of actual pain in your chest with every word he spoke seemed to be killing you. You had thought that love was strong enough to endure, and that two people could fix things because that's what you do when you love someone. Yeah, boys never seemed to be nice to you, but this one was different. You had found one that seemed to be good, and it was you and him against the world. Then life got the best of you and things fell apart. The unfortunate truth is this: not all relationships are meant to last.

Here's the thing: You can give all your love to someone and they could even give all their love to you, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. Things happen; People hurt one another, fall out of love, or simply just drift apart. The tough part of all that is understanding that it's OK. It took me a decent amount of time to understand that what's done is done, and that you just need to make peace with it in order to heal. You can tell them you love them a billion times and tell them that you want to make things work, but if they have already given up, what else can you do? Let it hurt. Then let it heal. Being human is to feel, and that includes feeling the bad things no matter how hard we try to run from it.

Let it hurt. The first day or two will be the worst. Lie in bed curled up in the blankets and cry your heart out. Empty a box of tissues -- even a tub of ice cream. Snuggle up to your stuffed animals that comfort you, and take time to let the feelings sink in. Write it down. Trust me: it helps. Fill up the pages in your journal as your tears stain the pages. Watch sad movies and sleep for hours on end. Take a million baths with your favorite bath bombs and bubbles. Do what you need to do to feel. And then get up, wash your face, look in the mirror, and let it begin to heal.

This part won't be easy either, but each day that passes will be better than the last. Go outside for fresh air. Walk through the park, read a book on the porch swing, go get your nails done, or spend time with those close to you. The toughest part is allowing yourself to make peace. I can't tell you how to do it or what ways will help. All I can say is that you have to tell yourself that things happen for a reason, and that if you were meant to be with him -- you would be. Make peace with the fact that what's done is done. Whatever the circumstances were, let it go. The damage has already been done and you cannot let it consume you forever. It could take days, weeks, months, or even years. Once you reach the point of making peace, you can truly heal your heart. You can move on and be ready for the next big thing.

I could write a million words on this, but basically what I've learned is this: Life can be real shitty sometimes. You will find love and you will lose it. But if you're lucky, you will find it again, and you will wonder how you ever managed to get to this point. You will meet someone new. Someone great and full of life and love and you'll even allow yourself to love them back. They will bring a light into your life and make you wonder how you ever became so lucky. They will give never ending forehead kisses, lift up your face when you're sad and you will come to find it instantly cheers you up. Just seeing their smile will make you smile and he will feel the same. You will experience a love like one you had told yourself you didn't deserve. It won't be easy, there will be scars and flashbacks from your past that frighten your present, but you can do it. He will heal any broken parts of your heart that you hadn't been able to heal on your own. You are not your past. He is not him, and you are not her. You will realize that all the pain seemed to be worth it, because it has led you to so much joy. This new love will give you more happiness than you could ever think is possible, and you will somehow be more happy and more in love with them each day that passes. There are good loves and there are great loves. You have had your good love, now it's time for your great love. Let it in.