Justin Bieber sang it and was absolutely right about it: you should go and love yourself. Loving yourself and caring for yourself is something easier said than done. When you learn to do so, however, incredible things happen. You're happier, more confident, have a healthier mentally, sometimes even physically, and you learn to accept yourself. We exhibit positive behaviors towards our friends and relational partners when they're feeling down about themselves, but what about ourselves? We're important too, more so than everyone else, and we need to remember that.
In the past year, I've learned something really important about myself - I'm the most important person in my life. I learned I need to let go and be "selfish." It's not selfish if you're taking care of yourself. Because at the end of the day, you're the one you're always gonna have. I had gotten so used to spreading myself thin and doing for others, that I forgot to do for myself. It's easy to say you need to put yourself first and you need to love yourself, but actually doing it is a lot harder. So many small things in our day-to-day life push us forward, cleansing yourself of toxic relationships and friendships, not lurking on your ex-boyfriend's Facebook page, enjoying that burger you've been craving instead of obsessing over the calories in it. When you let go of what others think and put yourself first, you transform.
For me, this transformation was a difficult one to make. I'm a people-pleaser; I've always made sure to put myself last in everything, simply because everyone else's needs were always more important than mine. I had to stop texting back boys who didn't treat me right, and I had to make sure I washed my face every day and buy the clothes I was too scared I wouldn't look good in. I faked my confidence until I became comfortable and confident in myself. Mostly, I made sure people knew how to treat me. I wasn't about to let anyone disrespect me anymore, and I stopped sugar-coating things for other people's comfort; I made sure I said what I needed to say. I never really had a problem standing up for myself, but I needed to make it clear that I was sure of myself.
As for the people I surround myself with, I had to drop a few people to make room for the space to love myself... Friends that brought me drama and romantic interest that were less than I deserved. Cutting people out was difficult, but in hindsight, it saved me in the long run. There are boys that have only wanted to use me for sex and friends that would only come to hang out when they needed something and that just wasn't cutting it for me anymore. I needed to put my foot down and make it known that I wasn't about to be used anymore, and I'm not just here for everyone's convenience.
Letting go and accepting yourself for who you are is truly magical. When you stop obsessing over calories and your weight or if that guy you've been texting is actually into you or not, you're more self-aware, you're able to accomplish more and focus on bettering yourself. Self care is the most important thing, and being able to accept yourself and loving yourself is the first step. You're the only person in your life you absolutely need, so make sure you're putting yourself first and being independent. Nobody's going to get mad at you for it, either. If they're really your friends, they're going to understand that taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do.
