I have had three roommates in college and they were all great to have in their own way. Now that I am a senior and finally have seniority, I get a single next year, and I could not be more excited about that, but that does not mean I will not miss having a roommate. Each of my roommates have taught me different lessons on how to survive college life with a roommate and different social skills that can come in handy in any social situation.
1. Communication is essential!
It is not just about telling your roomate that you are going home for the weekend or asking him or her if a friend can come over, it is about being open when you have a problem. I happen to love to avoid conflict, which got me into a lot of trouble with roommates. Because I did not communicate the issues I had, there was a lot of unnecessary tension in the room. When I figured out that communicating issues actually helped, there were less tensions. People actually like if you are honest when you have a roommate problem, but are nice about it. Usually, your roommate will be open to talk about it, compromize, and make a change. Communicating makes most issues less of a big deal than you thought they were. Same with talking. Talking to your roommate or any friend about any kind of problem you have can make you feel a lot better and make it seem like less of a big deal.
2. Compromising is the goal
When sharing a room, it has to be about compromise. You both might have completely different personalities and, therefore, completely different ideas on how to run the room and how to have fun. For example, if your roommate likes to go to bed early, but you do not, perhaps you can compromise by turning off the big light but keeping a small light on near the bed. If your roommate wants to always invite a lot of people over, but you do not like a lot of people over all the time, then maybe you can compromise by having three or four days with people and three or four days without. You could also schedule it with your roommate so that you know you will not be in the room the same time as the people.
3. Respect must happen
You cannot live with someone and not respect them. That will lead to a hostile environment every time. If you are friends, you probably already respect him or her, but if not, just remember to show respect for everthing. If your roommate is a neat freak, respect that. If he or she is a slob, respectfully talk about that. Under no circumstances should you ever disrespect a roommate.
4. Room rules are helpful
On the first day of school, it might be helpful to set a few ground rules for the room, such as when you both should turn the lights off, when to play music with or with out headphones, and if you should or should not talk on the phone in the room. Most rules can be learned with common sense and communication, but it is good to make are you both are on the same page about how the dynamics of the room will operate.
5. It's easy to take anger out on a roommate, but do not do it!
We all have bad days, but eat ice cream, watch a movie about shark attacks, or throw something. Do anything like that, but under any circumstances do not take your anger out on your roommate. Your roommate is innocent and does not deserve to be treated bad. Be nice to your roommate; you do not want to make him or her be afraid to enter their own room.
6. Do not forget to turn off your alarm clock!
When an alarm clock goes off at 8:00 on a Saturday morning and your roommate is not even there, you will not be happy. You will want to throw that alarm clock right out the window, so be good and do not forget turn off your alarm clock when you leave for the weekend.
7. Compromise with the windows
I hate the cold and all my roommates hate the heat. Let me tell you right now that this combination never works. It will be a constant battle of opening and closing the windows. If you can not agree to opening them and closing them an equal amount, then buy a blanket or a fan and get over it.
8. Respect sides and belongings and furniture
I always hate it when people leave their belongings or garbage on my desk, so do not do that. Clean up after yourself, especially if you ever leave something on your roommates side. Also, do not over take your roommates side with your belongings.This includes wall space. When it comes to decorating, unless you agree to allowing you or your roommate to be in charge of the decorating, make sure to have an equal amount of wall space.
9. Respect private time
Having a roommate does not mean you have to or should hang out constantly. You live together. If you hang out constantly you will get sick of each other really fast, plus it is only natural that the other person might want some alone time. Whether it requires you to leave the room or just stay quiet for a while, respect when your roommate needs to be alone. However, make sure he or she asks and is polite about it and does not require the room too much because it is your room, too. If you get kicked out to much, then that is not fair to you. So, it is important that their is strong communication both ways about this no matter who is doing the asking and do not be afraid to say no if you really can not leave the room.
Remember, these are not just helpful for roomates, but in any social situation, whether it be with friends, a relationship, or at work!
