Lessons On Love From Meredith And Derek

Lessons On Love From Meredith And Derek

Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a choice.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past 10+ years, you know who Meredith Grey and Derek Shepard a.k.a. McDreamy are. Dr. Meredith Grey is the focal point of the medical based TV series Grey's Anatomy, and Dr. Derek Shepard is her love interest for the majority of the series. Anyone who follows the show knows that these two have an epic love story, that all starts with just another girl in a bar.

1. Not everything will be perfect

Okay, seriously from the first encounter between these two, it’s obvious that they have chemistry, but in the end of their one night stand, Meredith can’t even remember his name. After she discovers she has been hired by the same hospital he is a resident at, things get even more interesting. As the show (and their romance) continues, McDreamy shows that he can also be a McIdiot when his wife shows up before he can tell Meredith of his marital status. After a few episodes of fights, tears, and a ton of tequila, viewers realize that this is only the beginning of a long, long relationship with "MerDer." No matter what happens and who gets involved, if it’s meant to be it will find a way.

2. Put Yourself Out There

These two are the epitome of wearing your heart on your sleeve. Although Meredith is all “dark and twisty”, she eventually comes clean with her feelings for Derek and begs him to reconsider their relationship. Yes, that’s right; I’m referring to the well-known “Pick me. Choose me. Love me.” scene. Meredith is a very headstrong and independent character, but when it comes to Derek, she shows us that it’s okay to put everything right out on the table sometimes. At least nothing can get lost in translation.

3. Go big or go home

When it comes to MerDer, no shortcuts are taken. They’ve done it all from designing a house together to actually creating a candle-lit outline of the blueprints of the house, complete with a speech about the incredible life they could build together, to an elaborate proposal in an elevator with brain scans lining the walls. Basically, love makes people do crazy, beautiful, romantic things. So embrace it, and when it comes to your partner, there is no length that shouldn’t be gone to for their happiness. I mean come on, when Meredith couldn’t get pregnant, Derek found a beautiful baby girl to adopt that she immediately fell in love with. It doesn’t get much more real than that.

4. Do your own thing

When this whole relationship started, nobody approved. Meredith’s friends thought it was a terrible idea, and so did the hospital staff, including Chief Weber. These two show that no matter what others say, if you love someone, be with them, it’s as simple as that. Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a choice. In order for a relationship to work, you have to put effort into it. Don’t use other people’s stereotypes of a relationship or commitment to dictate your own. Meredith and Derek were married via post it for two seasons before they legally tied the knot at city hall. To them, they didn’t need a legal piece of paper to tell them they belonged to each other; they only needed each other’s personalized commitment.

5. Sometimes, sacrifice is necessary

The ultimate sacrifice is giving your life for another. In season 6, Meredith offers herself to a gunman who is pointing his weapon at her husband’s head while he is on the operating table. She nearly convinces the shooter to kill her instead, but luckily better things prevailed. Derek even quits a job at the White House to be closer to his family and to help Meredith raise their children on more than just a part time basis. Often times, if you only worry about bettering yourself, you will hurt your relationship. A relationship consists of two people, and although sometimes it may call for sacrifice, it is better to pass up on something that can hurt your loved one instead of risking losing it all.

It’s nearly impossible to watch Grey’s Anatomy and not become engrossed in the drama, scandal and lust of the hospital. Even when they were unsteady, Meredith and Derek were always something that was a given in the show. It made us all fall in love with McDreamy, in a really, really big, pretend-to-like-your-taste-in-music, let-you-eat-the-last-piece-of-cheesecake, hold-a-radio-over-my-head-outside-your-window, unfortunate way that makes us hate you..love you kind of way.

Cover Image Credit: Popsugar

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.

Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.

Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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It's 2019 And Gun Violence Is Still All Around Us

Every day, 100 Americans are killed with guns and hundreds more are shot and injured. The effects of gun violence extend far beyond these casualties.


A year ago, my cousin's husband was murdered at his job along with a co-worker. The weapon used to commit the double homicide? A shotgun purchased at 4:15 p.m. on the day of the murders from a pawnshop in town. The perpetrator asked for the cheapest shotgun and paid $145 for it. My cousin lost her life partner and their son lost his father.

$145 to take the life of two men who had families and loved ones.

On March 15, 2019, I saw news reports of a hate-fueled mass shooting in Christchurch, New Zealand. At least 49 people were killed and 20 seriously injured in two mosques. Last year, in October 2018, a hate crime occurred in Pittsburgh, Pennslyvania, in a Jewish synagogue, leaving eleven dead and six injured. In November 2017, a gunman killed 26 people at a small Baptist church in Sutherland Springs, Texas. Nine people died in 2015 at an African Methodist Episcopal church after a shooting in Charleston, South Carolina.

This list could go on and on. Shootings at schools, malls, movie theaters, concerts; almost any public place you can imagine. Many of them are based on racial or religious discrimination.

A crime I will never forget is the hate-crime committed against Deah Barakat, his wife Yusor Abu-Salha, and her sister Razan Abu-Salha. They were killed in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, in February 2017, for no reason other than their race, their religion, and a dispute over a parking spot. As all three of them were leaders in their schools and communities, a foundation has been set up in their honor in the hopes of bringing awareness to and ending implicit racial biases.

Another name I will never forget, Eve Carson. She was the student body president at UNC-Chapel Hill who was shot and killed in March 2008. Gun violence happens every day in our communities and leaves a lasting impact on all of us, whether we realize it or not.

I'm not going to lie. My favorite kinds of shows are crime dramas, real or fiction. Guns and gun violence are prominent in some of my favorite shows, and some of my favorite characters use them with no hesitation. We, as fans, know these images impact us. In film and TV, a weapon — most often, a gun — is the equalizer, the thing that gives you the power to turn the tables on all those things holding you back.

Gun violence is prevalent, not only in entertainment but also in reality. Yet so far, a tragedy of this nature has yet to break the hold that the gun seems to have over American culture.

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I'm not here to try to force my personal opinion on you. But I think we should ask ourselves questions.

Why do states impose 'waiting periods' for abortions but not for gun purchases? Why can a man just walk in and out of a store with a cheap gun that he will use later that day to destroy lives?

Why are there so many hate crimes with such a blatant disregard for life, and no discrimination on who's on the other side of the gun?

We are so overloaded with information on a daily basis that it's starting to blur together. These things keep happening because we just keep arguing about it and never do anything real to prevent it from happening again.

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