Your first love and heartbreak are something that influence a lifetime of relationships, romantic or not. Looking back on my first real relationship, I realize how beautiful and life changing it was. Being in love for the first time is scary, complicated, and reckless. Never having your heart broken before, you have no fear for what you are getting into. Fearlessly falling deeply and quickly, things easily get messy. These are the lessons I learned from my first real relationship. I hope they strike a chord with you.
1. People change. Including you. Chances are, you are going to outgrow many of the relationships that you develop. It's okay to let go of something if it isn't a part of you anymore. Even if it still means a lot to you, it's okay to move on from something if it's no longer good for you.
2. If you are walking on eggshells, it is not a healthy relationship. There is a difference between respecting someone's feelings and being afraid of upsetting them in any way. If you are constantly kissing someone's ass for no reason, your relationships sucks. For example, you should never feel afraid of annoying your boyfriend by texting him too much.
3. You should never beg someone to see you for what you are worth. You should never have to explain to someone why you deserve to be respected. Know your worth and don't settle for less. Things human beings deserve: honesty, communication, understanding, attention. If you are giving all of these things, you should be receiving them as well.
4. Even when someone says they care, their actions will be the only true indicator. If someone says they want to make things work, but don't change their behavior, they don't value your relationship like they say they do. Likewise, if you want someone to know that you care, show them.
5. Walking away from something that has hurt you does not mean you gave up. If you are exhausted from a relationship, it's okay to remove yourself from the situation. When you have maxed out on the effort that you can put into something and it still isn't working, let it go.
All of the lessons I have learned have been applicable to every other working friendship or relationship that I've had since. It took me a long time to take positive things from my first broken relationship, but it was relieving to let go of negative feelings and keep the positive ones. Everything really does happen for a reason.
